“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

What has become of us? Who are we? Has our nation’s pastime become golf? Is baseball passe? So last season? The brand that is golf is having such a hey day, that I actually started wearing my old Izod shirts again. Somebody help me. Take me to a Golfers Anonymous meeting. Surely they exist. There are 12 Step meetings for everything on Earth (i.e., Mistresses Anonymous and Horndogs Anonymous). Since the Tiger Woods and His Band of Merry Hookers fiasco, we have become obsessed with the minutia of the sport and his penis. It is the cover story of every… Read More »

Here is proof that all the absurd, demonic, right wing jerks like Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin are in fact directly responsible for all the ills on Earth. The Tea Partyers and those who refuse to take any responsibility what-so-ever for the tone in which our country is operating had better get a grip…or get honest with themselves. One of the two. This sign, which is tastefully located in Arizona speaks volumes. Between this screw up and Sarah Palin’s utterly idiotic anti-Semetic comment about blood-libel goes to show that the cat is out of the bag and it is time… Read More »

Let’s face it kids, when I ask: ABE: Who wears a matching red hat with red Prada shoes and elaborate dresses? YOU: Dame Edna? ABE: No. YOU: Any of the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race? ABE: No. Give up? Here’s a hint. He turns a blind eye to child molesters and is the top dog of the Catholic church. YOU: Justin Bieber? ABE: No, you maroon. It’s the Pope, the Holy Pontiff, His Grace in the Glass Menagerie. Nice reputation, Marlene Pope Benedict XVI. I mean…really…would you let this guy, if he was not the Pope, anywhere near your kids?… Read More »

I have not talked about politics for quite a while. And there have been moments of absolute horror while reading the Huffington Post about the goings on in Washington, DC. Much of what was happening within our democracy over the past year had me dumbfounded. I began to loose faith…I closed my eyes…I turned the other cheek. When I became horrified…correction, mortified at some of the libelous and slanderous things that the nay-sayers…correction, Tea Partyers were saying, did I voice my concern? No. I am guilty as charged for frolicking through the fabulostiy of fashion and calibrating the crunk of… Read More »