Can We Now Retire Tiger Woods’ Penis, Too?!?

Dec 12, 2009Breaking Newzzz
Loredana Jolie...no relation to Angelina, is Tiger Woods' hooker without a heart (of gold or otherwise) is in the headines today.

Loredana Jolie...no relation to Angelina, is Tiger Woods' hooker without a heart (of gold or otherwise) in the headlines today.

The news has been so uninteresting, especially these days, with the Tiger Woods story monopolizing the media with his bevvy of hookers (I know, they all aren’t, but they are, Blanche) jumping face first in front of any camera that will have them. Who was it that said,Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a Tiger bye his…well…surely not his toe.” Oh, right, yours truly. :) I have tried to limit the I Mean…What?!? coverage of The Tiger Woods Saga, reason being…it is boring as hell. How the media has made milk toast into a sex commodity is by far the greatest feat known to man.

I hear Rachel Uchitel (is that pronounced UCH - itel) is holded up in her bedroom checking every kernel of dish about her on the internet.

I hear Rachel Uchitel (is that pronounced UCH - itel) is holed up in her bedroom checking every kernel of dish about her on the internet.

Today’s headline in the New York Post claiming that “Tiger Pulls Out” is way too much of a visual now that 800 cheap Hooter-type girls have been bandying about staking their claim on whatever crumbs they can get. Is this what Gloria Steinem had in mind for the women’s movement? Think again. No matter how often Tiger has been the lead story, I still can’t help thinking, “Golf is sooo boring and hopefully, if this is golf’s fifteen minutes of fame…then we are at fourteen…so we can get back to what really matters, like Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” Come on, even I would rather listen to those gals than people like Jamie Jungers or Rachel (Lips McGilicutty) Uchitel.

The eyebrows alone make me think she is lying.

The eyebrows alone make me think she is lying.

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10 Responses to “Can We Now Retire Tiger Woods’ Penis, Too?!?”

  1. I GUESS HE HAS A THING FOR SKANK WITH A LOT OF SURGERY RIGHT?

  2. […] heard most the newborn 12-Step Program titled Mistresses Anonymous. No, I am not kidding. One of Tiger Woods‘ questionable mistresses, Jamie Jungers, is primed to hold others. She’s been […]

  3. […] hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold Ashley Dupre as the New York Post’s Carrie Bradshaw. Jamie Jungers, the hussy that spilled the beans on Tiger Woods and Loredana Jolie, who between them, have been […]

  4. Angelo Scharber says:

    Fantastic post, thanks lots!

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  7. […] preoccupied with matters of national security…namely herself. Let’s see what one of Tiger Woods‘ silly, sex slaves is busy with today. My source tells me that Rachel is stressed and feels […]

  8. […] pageant hair and cornball, prom gowns for that skanky, Gross Baboon of the Year look that all of Tiger Woods‘ skanks share. Now, I am all for racy, but didn’t Carrie Prejean…nutbag hypocrite […]

  9. […] ever? It’s a new 12-Step Program called Mistresses Anonymous. No, I am not kidding. One of Tiger Woods‘ alleged mistresses, Jamie Jungers, is ready to help others. She’s been talking to TV […]

  10. […] hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold Ashley Dupre as the New York Post’s Carrie Bradshaw. Jamie Jungers, the hussy that spilled the beans on Tiger Woods and Loredana Jolie, who between them, have been […]

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