Just watched the press conference with Tiger Woods, looking all pouty and apologetic for have endless amounts of glommy and poontang with a gaggle of hussies. I am not buying any of it. As you all know, golf has never been a big attraction for me, so why would I hang on every word that someone that wears pleated slacks. Anyway, I could only imagine what Rachel Uchitel (Lips McGilicutty) was doing during this press conference. She, who was his weekend sex toy, who reveled in Tiger’s salacious requests for constant sexual favors between golf holes. (Stop)
Who wouldn’t want to be sitting on the bed with winner of the Gross Baboon of the Year Award, Loredana Jolie, fresh from a shower (at my request), to watch her reaction to his poor, little, horny me act for all the world to see. She must have been the recipient of Tiger when he was in a completely different head space, namely: “Get over here, bitch and bla bla bla”, while pulling her hair.
Enny, meeny, miney, mo…Jamie caught Tiger by…well…surely not by his toe. Poor, Jamie Jungers, new member of Mistresses Anonymous, who must have been spinning in her swivel chair, killing herself for not taking the money and running when she had the chance. Meanwhile, all the rest of the skanks he slept with have just chalked this affair up to “a day in the life of skankhood” and are onto their next victim.
Hollyscoop.com is reporting that a body language expert thinks he will cheat again. DUH…you can’t chance a Tiger’s stripes. Oh no I didn’t!