The Endlessness Of Being Unforgiven

Just when John Galliano thought it was safe to go back in the (fashion) water, rather get out from drowning under water, comes The Galliano Conundrum-Par Deux. The Galliano Conundrum started that fateful day two years ago when John was drowning his sorrows in a pub in Le Marais when his barrage of hateful anti-Semitic comments came spewing out of his mouth like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Galliano looking and sounding like a tragic mess was caught on camera saying shit like “I Love Hitler”, a seminal moment that changed his life on a dime, like a crippling car accident.

The world was not about to let John Galliano off the hook. He was shunned by his peers and immediately terminated from Christian Dior, which is understandable, because you don’t bite the hand that feeds you. My immediate reaction was horror and disdain for his contemptible comments but when I learned that he was under the influence of Ambien, alcohol and stupidity, my opinion shifted. I wrote a piece for The Huffington Post about forgiveness and as a child of Holocaust survivors, I understood that John’s addictions were stronger than his drug induced stupor. John probably would not have remembered his mumblings of a madman had it not been caught on tape.

Cut to two years later, post rehab, when Oscar de la Renta made a grand gesture to invite the master craftsman work alongside the master for his Fall ’13 collection to be shown at New York Fashion Week. It seemed as though the tide had turned for John Galliano. Smartly, John stayed out of the limelight during that time except when the New York Post vindictively posted a picture of John wearing an outfit that the Post deemed as a swipe against Jews because he resembled an Orthodox Jew, which was not even the case. Excuse me, but a black Fedora and a black overcoat does not necessarily a Yid make. Like the New York Post knows the difference between fashion and a faux pas? Don’t get me started. Outside of that one negative PR snafu, Galliano’s turn in New York was heralded as a success and it seemed that all may have been forgiven. Not forgotten surely, but forgiven.

Then Parsons School of Design announced that John Galliano was going to teach a master class called “Show Me Emotion”. The vague title should have been a dead giveaway that what Parson’s wanted to do was mix the art of raw artistic emotion with a dishy opportunity for John to speak about his indiscretion, like some kind of academia version of a Barbara Walters special…tears and all. That was until the outrage from students A.K.A. funders reacted like they had just been slapped in the face. The Dean sent out a letter notifying the student body and the public that they cancelled the mater class saying, “We expected to invite students, faculty and staff to ask Mr. Galliano how his trajectory as a designer was changed by his offensive remarks and to learn from that example.” The vague name of the class coupled with the vague syllabus for the class was what lead to the demise of the Galliano workshop and now what’s next for John?

Today we had a lively panel discussion on HuffPo Live with a great panel of guests featuring fashion editors, stylists, bloggers and educators. Both sides of the aisle were represented in this important conversation and my take away was “Time may heal all wounds, but it might not do shinola for John Galliano’s career.”

Is this a case of political correctness or is John Galliano still too hot a property to handle? There really is no right answer because it is such an emotional issue. But shame on John Galliano’s PR machine to not use the perfect timing after his Oscar de la Renta stint to slip in a couple of apologetic moments through the appropriate media outlets to clear more of the air that lingers around him like the smell of day old fish so John Galliano can finally move on and resurrect his career. The world needs to learn from his brilliance and not stay focused on his foibles.

I Mean…What?!?

Justin Bieber lohaning? Qu’est-ce que c’est lohaning?

From the Abe & Miriam Webster Dictionary of Abeisms:

Lohan (Low–as in life– Han)

1. to reduce (an object or career) to useless fragments, or remains, burning, or dissolving (bridges).
2. injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin; annihilate (credibility).
3. to put an end to or extinguish (career).
4. to kill or slay (career).
5. to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize; invalidate (your everything).
6. to defeat completely (any and all hopes of a comeback).

Justin Bieber is his own biggest belieber and maybe Amanda Bynes is too.

I Mean…What?!?

Dear Boston,

Words cannot adequately describe how sad and sorry I am for your tremendous loss of life, loss of limbs, loss of innocence, and loss of freedom. What happened at the Boston Marathon finish line is unconscionable and shows us how cowardly these perpetrators are by not claiming responsibility. On the heels of Sandy Hook tragedy and the many senseless acts of violence that are happening daily throughout our “United States”, we are–or at least I am–beginning to feel helpless and really pissed. Serial gross baboons are making us feel so vulnerable and acts of kindness seem to be a thing of the past.

As the war in Congress rages on in support of the right to bear arms–hiding behind the Constitution to support their cause–we will continue to be helpless against crackpots who have “inalienable rights”. The fact remains that violence begets violence. One dastardly act triggers another and until we put our foot and stricter laws down condemning any kind of violent act then we will never revert to a simpler time. Hey, I’ll just settle for a safer time. If these Boston bombers opened fire with legally acquired guns instead of the shit they pulled, would these so called “lawmakers” still be singing the praises of Second Amendment Rights?

Being this upset about how violent our society has gotten is making me grasp at straws to make any point against any kind of violence. I am sick of it all. I am angry at our politicians and their due process. I am sad that innocent people are caught in the crossfire of a world where violence is the accepted norm and in some cases supported by their government. Most of all I am pissed that none of us are safe anymore to stroll along the street without wondering if we are in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What else is there to say besides…

I Mean…What?!?

I Mean…What?!?

Team Anne or Team Justin.

Justin Bieber is embroiled in yet another media flap following his recent visit to the Anne Frank House Museum. The social media furor (no pun intended) that followed his comments written in the guest book has Twitter a twitter with harsh comments and negative criticisms of the nineteen year old mega-superstar. Justin Bieber wrote, “It was truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” But is that statement really all that insensitive? Let’s break it down.

1. “It was truly inspiring to be able to come here.” The fact that Justin took his precious time away from the Pot Shops and Mushroom Cafes to visit the museum is admirable. Any money bet the majority of this beliebers don’t know who Anne Frank was nor have they been to a museum. His tweeny twinky followers should take note and get their superficial asses to any museum in honor of their demigod.

2.”Anne was a great girl.” The take away from visiting the Anne Frank House would make anyone with a heart say the same thing. We can all use this moment to take a personal inventory and wonder WTF they would in such a horrific situation.

3. “Hopefully she would have been a belieber.” Granted, that statement is totally clueless but what teenager isn’t? This just proves that Justin Bieber is his own biggest belieber.

I Mean…What?!?

Clearly this look suits Manzies AND Jennifer Aniston like nobody’s business. Or, shall I say that a Manzie and Jennifer Aniston have no business wearing this shit.

A couple of years ago, I created the Manzie Report covering the men’s fashion shows in London, Milan, Paris and New York. So many menswear collections featured looks that were so nelly that words could not describe just how nelly they were. Hence I established the term Manzie when referencing these uber- effeminate looks. (Follow I Mean What on Twitter.)

Q. What is a Manzie?

A. A Manzie is part man, part Pansy and part Dandy. A Manzie is a guy desperately trying to be “on trend”. He can be a straight man trying too hard to be stylish or a straight-acting-gay man who acts extra butch to compensate for his quirky fashion choices. Bottom line: A Manzie will wear any of the outfits featured on I Mean…What?!? For the history of Manzie Style click here.

Once the Manzie Report became the talk of the town, Sportswear International bestowed me with the title “Truth Sayer”. Shortly thereafter the Manzie Look went out of style only to be replaced with tragically butch fashion looks like plaid shirts, traditional Yuppie suiting and endless boring choices. But like all trends, they come and go and no one is happier than me to report that the Fall ’13 season is agog with Manzie Looks up and down the runways. Looks that are so horeene, that the models were snapping their fingers at themselves while sashaying down the catwalks. So without any further ado, I present:

THE MANZIE REPORT, FALL ’13

Shaun Sampson kicks off the Return of the Manzie with this bell sleeve nonsense coupled with ill-fitting culottes.

Meadham Kirchhoff shows us that Manzie’s can have a bad hair day too. And they can use a little make-up especially when sporting a laser-cut nightie.

This look featured in the MAN collection shows us that Santa Claus, when he is not riding his sleigh, is a Manzie deep down making Mrs. Claus a veritable fag hag.

Kenzo has a trench coat that only a Manzie would wear coupled with Twiggy’s Go-Go Boots from the 1960′s.

In short, James Long designs for Manzies.

Hardy Aimes is a fairly butch, traditional menswear collection but their Creative Director, Claire Malcolm (shown here) is a closet Manzie herself.

Nothing screams Manzie more that this E. Tautz layering fest featured on this ambiguous model.

Christopher Kane may have been inspired by the Kardashian Kollection @ Sears with this homage to animal prints.

Andrea Pompilio got the memo about prints, albeit a season too late. If this look retails out, I will eat my Quirky Man Hat.

Here is a Quirky Man Hat, featured a few seasons ago at Thom Browne’s runway show. FYI-Thom Browne is the King of the Manzies. (Click here for a T.B. overview.)

Alexander McQueen would be proud of this Manzie ensemble. That or he is turning in his grave. You decide.

Richard Nicoll has brought back a look that a few years ago was a major trend in menswear that I called “Gina Lollobrigida Orange”. (Click image for reference.)

As featured in Women’s Wear Daily, Gina Lollobrigida Orange was the rage. Just so you know, Gina Lollobrigida used to wear shocking orange lipstick in the 60′s, hence, the reference.

Even Topman is paying homage to Gina Lollobrigida Orange this season. So, is it Topman or TopManzie? You decide.

There are two collections this season in London that outdid themselves in the Manzie department. My personal favorite is JW Anderson. Here we have a black leather mini dress coupled with ruffled high-top Go-Go Boots that the Manzie of the Year will wear to this year’s Manzie of the Year Award Gala.

Jennifer Aniston wore this JW Anderson knock off to the People’s Choice Awards this year.

Sibling presented so many looks that Manzies would kill for, that I needed to share some with you. Sibling tapped into so many Manzie Trends such as the fur skort, Gina Lollobrigida Orange, the Quirky Man Hat, and everything that speaks to Manzies everywhere.

Of course the fur skort needs to be in pink. Duh.

Sibling also knocked off the Kardashian Kollection animal print story as well.

Is Sibling be the collection that Homeboy Manzies will wear next fall?

Perhaps Sibling designers Joe Bates, Sid Bryan and Cozette McCreery said it best as shown here on this sweatshirt. Please Kill Me.

Please follow I Mean What on Twitter.

I Mean…What?!?

Hot Spot Alert: Circolo Restaurant: Having just returned from two glorious weeks in Tulum, Mexico, no one is happier than me to introduce you to Circolo, the newest restaurant to open its doors in New York City. The reason this is most exciting is because Circolo is the sister restaurant of Tulum’s popular eatery, Posada Margherita. Everyone who is anyone in Tulum loves Posada because of the delicious, fresh Italian food coupled with the charming owner Alessandro Carozzino, who welcomes the guests by sitting down at each table to discuss the day’s menu. Posada’s relaxed atmosphere makes you feel at home and this same key ingredient has been transported from Tulum and sprinkled throughout Circolo, providing a warm, inviting atmosphere filled with deliciousness.

Smulumsh.

If everything about Circolo sounds like it is born out of some chic community effort, you won’t be surprised to hear that “circolo” is an Italian word meaning club and that in traditional Italian society, a circolo is a local spot to meet friends, chat and imbibe. The food at Circolo is scrumptious, and don’t get me started on the delish fresh, warm bread baked daily along with their delectable handmade pasta. Other favorite dishes are the grilled octopus with pistachios, Tuscan meatballs, bruschetta with anchovies and mozzarella and their brilliant home made tiramisù and raspberry tart that will make you sob uncontrollably. The chef, Fabio Scovaventi is from Tuscany and all that’s left to say is that Circolo is a major yum, any way you slice it.

Booze, delish food, great atmosphere, what are you waiting for?

CIRCOLO: 45 Bond Street  New York, 10012, (212) 375-0323

THE TEAM: Alessandro Carozzino, Federico Paterniti, Francesco Barosi, Andrea De Leonardis and Giada Paoloni

I Mean…What?!?

It is time to get the real negotiations under way with the Fiscal Spliff.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: December 19, 2012 – 11:13AM

Fiscal Cliff Schmiscal Schmliff. I am beyond over it. If I hear the words John or Boehner anytime soon I will bust a gut, surely not a move. After weeks of sobbing through the devastation caused by Hurricane Sandy, my nephew’s death at age 34, the horrendosity that is Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton Connecticut and the screening of Les Miserables, the thought of a bunch of pompous, orange men sitting in a room splitting hairs is giving me major agita. The nerve these more than 12 angry men to actually think that what they have to pontificate about means a hill of beans compared to the harsh, sad realities of the world. Raise my tax, slap a millionaire, see if I care.

UPDATED - December 12, 2012 – 4:00 PM  

Uh Oh! John Boehner just warned Congress not to make plans for the holidays because it looks like they will all be skinny dipping over the Fiscal Cliff together for Christmas. Now more than ever–or at least since this morning–the cronies will want to spark up the Fiscal Spliffs to get through it.

POSTED - December 12, 2012 – 10:08 AM

What? The Fiscal Cliff talks stalled…again? Then it is time to implement the Fiscal Spliff. I mean…come on. This Fiscal Cliff nonsense has become the most boring news story since the Kate & Jon Gosselin divorce and equally as time consuming. My Fiscal Spliff Plan is simple: The Do-Nothing Congress, the Self-Righteous Senate and President Obama need to go to Boulder, Colorado and spark up a bunch of marijuana filled cigarettes (aka spliffs) and chill the fuck out. The Fiscal Spliff will have them all together in a room, perhaps on water beds, where they can smoke, laugh, eat then come to terms on how to get over themselves.

Imagine Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi getting stoned, then they look over at John Boehner, who has taken a way too big hit off the Fiscal Spliff and his face turns beet red. They crack up and say, “Hey John, your face is a lovely shade of red, which is way better than that burnt orange that you normally sport.” The entire room cracks up and John Boehner starts crying. This, however, is the tactic to get the Tea Party members to feel guilty and then agree to his negotiating terms prearranged with Obama, who is eating the last of the Twinkies supplied by the baker’s union to remind them what they could be missing if the economy continues to spiral out of control.

What weed did for James Franco, it can also do for the Congress & Senate.

I Mean…What?!?

As a born-again pot smoker, this ditty gave me great joy when Barack Obama chatted with Barbara Walters (Baba Wawa) saying, “We’ve got bigger fish to fry,” Obama told ABC News’ Barbara Walters. “It would not make sense for us to see a top priority as going after recreational users in states that have determined that it’s legal.” Since Obama himself smoked pot as a youngster in Hawaii, where he and his high school pals called themselves the Choom Gang, it made no sense when the administration sounded like a bunch of friggin’ narcs last week. I may not have  Choom Gang, but I have a delivery service that send up the best Skunk and I’d like to think I am not on the equivalent of some a gang banger.

DECEMBER 7: Hey Obama: Stop Being A Friggin’ Narc

What is a Friggin’ Narc? No one you want to be.

Recently I smoked marijuana for the first time in a long time and had a blast. I didn’t eat that much, laughed a lot, did not get paranoid, then decided, “I gotta get back into smoking pot.” With record numbers of addicts dying from legal pain killers (they are what they are named) and tons more folks boozing away their lives on legal alcohol, not being able to stay sober in AA, marijuana continues to be the gentle giant of libations. And now the Obama Administration wants to act like a friggin’ narc?

The top story in The New York Times: Senior White House and Justice Department officials are considering plans for legal action against Colorado and Washington that could undermine voter-approved initiatives to legalize the recreational use of marijuana in those states, according to several people familiar with the deliberations.

Listen you. Yeah you, Barack Obama. I did not vote for you, staying confident throughout the election cycle that you would win re-election, so that your first steps would be to ill-legalize marijuana. I know that is not an official thing, but you are ill if you go this route. In Colorado and Washington the voters spoke overwhelmingly on this topic, kinda like the way they voted your ass back into the White House, and they need to be left alone. Just because you stopped smoking pot because of Miss Bossy Pants Michelle, then just live and let live. Stay away from those places and clam up.

“It’s a sticky wicket for Obama,” said Bruce Buchanan, a political science professor at the University of Texas at Austin, saying any aggressive move on such a high-profile question would be seen as “a slap in the face to his base right after they’ve just handed him a chance to realize his presidential dreams.”

What is a “sticky wicket”? Is it anything like a “lame ass idea”? A wickets relates to cricket, the lamest sport ever, kinda like the same lameness quotient of this move from the Obama Administration just after winning re-election. Hey pal, the young people who voted you in are gonna think you are a friggin’ narc. As am I. So get over yourself and stay focused on that annoying Fiscal Cliff. This is what you campaigned on. Not being a friggin’ narc like some white Gross Baboon Republican. Now get back into that Panic Room with the Orange Idiots and make a deal.

I Mean…What?!?

Brooke Mueller needs to move in with Aubrey O’Day somewhere in Vancouver.

Brooke Mueller going back to rehab is such non-news that it’s weird that she made it to the news today for going back to rehab…again…which is like her weekly adventure. After learning that Charlie Sheen gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000 for being an addict as well as his generous contribution to a charity, to prove that he is a nice addict, this addict must be in a tizzy because of how Sheen pisses away money that could rightfully go to her habit…OF BEING AN ADDICT.

THIS WAS POSTED DECEMBER 4, 2011

Brooke Mueller, who holds the illustrious title of Gross Baboon—albeit not Of The Year—was arrested for possession of copious amounts of cocaine in Aspen, where I guess the snow on the ground served as a trigger for her wanting to cop blow. Knowing her, she will blame Mother Nature for her drug relapse. Here’s the deal, Brooke needs to once and for all be put away for one solid year to rehab and those kids need to go to Charlie Sheen’s house with two full-time court appointed nannies that need to check in with Child Protective Services each week and keep a daily journal, which would be reviewed weekly.

Brooke is more or less hopeless. She threatened to take down Charlie Sheen with salacious gay rumors, which is why he threatened her with a knife two years ago Christmas morning a.k.a. the Non-Nativity Scene. She and her mom are plotters and nut bags and need to go far into the woodwork and ne’er be heard from again. Bye.

This was written April 18, 2011, the last time the stupid bitch got arrested.

Has no one been listening to me? Brooke Mueller is a skank, is using those sweet kids to hold Charlie Sheen hostage for more dough and is an all around Gross Baboon. Look, Brooke ran back to rehab, for fear of losing the kids, hence, more dough. I bet any money that her mother, another known piece of work, shuffled her off to Buffalo…er…Promises. This whole group make Aubrey O’Day seem compelling. Eek.

I Mean…What?!?

Rihanna is getting a reality show? Vomit. Like seeing her antics in every gossip rag every day is not fodder enough? How many times can I say this? The End Of The World Is Nigh. Sure she is stunning and photos in fashion glossies is one thing. But tell me you are not cringing at the thought of listening to her try to emulate Heidi Klum, since the TV show is a rip-off of Project Runway. Turns out the show that Rihanna is set to host on The Style Network…yikes… called “Styled To Rock” is based on a competition show that failed miserably in the UK. So someone tell me, WTF? You think Chris Brown will be a guest judge?

I Mean…What?!?