“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Everyone and their cousin is chiming in on who looked great or who looked like crap on the Emmy Red Carpet.  Surely I am tuning in tonight to hear Joan Rivers and Kelly Osbourne’s two cents on who they think is Best and Worst Dress. SIDEBAR: Just saw Joan Rivers’ Piece of Work this weekend, and she really is a dynamo. Glad E! brought her back into their fold. Anyhoo, yes, I can’t agree more with most of the commentaries but one thing I cannot forgive is the Emmy Up Do. I’m sorry, but there are two moments in a… Read More »

Surely you are anticipating the I Mean…What?!? Gross Baboon of the Year Award, which will be granted later this year. Yes, move over Razzies, because the Gross Baboons are coming. For you newcomers, the GBOTY Award honors those annoying people that have graced monopolized the media to the point that it makes me say, “I don’t need to see that”. Nominees to date include: Mel Gibson, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods, Jon Gosselin, Joselyn James…get the picture? Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are the latest nominees and their new-found togetherness has even created a new category,… Read More »

Do you ever stop to wonder how on Earth all these tacky, low-rent people have managed to claw their way into the media and take up so much of our time these days? Look no further than your mirror. What you will see there is one of the reasons that Gross Baboons have even entered the zeitgeist. It is because of you and me (or is it I) that there is even a need for the Annual Gross Baboon of the Year Award (to be held during the next awards season). We have glorified the lowest common denominator of humans.… Read More »

Yes, I love Jersey Shore with the rest of you, but really? Snooki is a friggen haggard mess. – SPLASH NEWS Should Britney Spears wear a bra? All in favor? Yay. All opposed? Nay. Daddy, get the hell out of her underwear drawer. – THE SUN Little Red Lady Gaga…did she or didn’t she have a face job. – DIGITAL SPY Awww, the original Gross Baboon is not having a good time of things. Attention all Gross baoons, this could be you! – HUFFINGTON POST Burberry Make up? Whatever. Celebrities design clothes, coats design make-up? What next? Hairdressers designing Chia… Read More »

According to Lindsay Lohan’s tweet, Sam Ronson spit in her face at Coachella. R U kidding? Move on girls. Enough. Yikes. – TWITTER The Mario Testino/Kate Moss book will sell out for sure at $472 or whatever price. – HUFFINGTON POST httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2sYfsFv_i0&feature=player_embedded Kate Gosselin (March of the Wooden Soldiers) was finally booted off DWTS. Next up…more reality television. My friend at Warner Brothers said she is impossible. – JUST JARED Oh, no, Heather Locklear was just arrested for a hit and run. I am sooo upset. I love her. And am so sad that Melrose Place is canceled. – TMZ… Read More »

Real Housewives of Saks Fifth Avenue…Yikes. – GAWKER Vera Wang to bring bridezillas to the masses. – NY MAGAZINE Oprah says FOTZ! – PEOPLE Save Kate? Is George Lopez searching for ratings now that he is getting bounced to midnight from Conan O’Brien? Save Kate Gosselin? From herself.  – JUST JARED PETA is freaked about the way Kim Kardashian is holding this cat. Oy, what was she thinking? – D LISTED… Read More »

Gay marriage, gay divorce, same thing. – DLISTED Does Kate Hudson have new moobs? – US MAGAZINE Lou Dobbs for President? Better than Sarah Palin…no? – NY POST Smell like 50 Cents? Now there’s an ad campaign…but do you think he is gay? – DETAILS Would you date Kate Gosselin? She don’t think so. – US Are you on Twitter? Click here to follow I MEAN..WHAT?!?… Read More »

The Charlie Sheen & Brooke Mueller saga of tremense proportions is never going to end. Surely not on a good note. -DISH RAG Kara DioGuardi is smokin’ hot. The hottest thing on American Idol for damn sure. – HUFFINGTON POST What to wear to Coachella? G-STAR cool as ice denim ensemble…what else? I MEAN…WHAT?!? Kate Gosselin may be annoying to many…but I have to actually hand it to her…she knows how to play the media better than…like…anyone. – PEOPLE Move over Darth Vader…Sarah Palin is the new Leader of the Evil Empire. – GAWKER Are you on Twitter? Click here… Read More »

The only thing sadder than Shania Twain’s new reality show is the fact that my assistant Ryan is going to spend the summer watching it. -PEOPLE Lindsay Lohan’s fall collection for 6126 is here…fotz. Major, major fotz. -INSTYLE Terry Richardson wants to shoot your penii. -THE CUT You ain’t seen nothing yet, in terms of Kate Gosselin and reality television. She’ll be dancing into your living room on yet, another show about her and her shoes…or something.  -USA TODAY Cissy Houston says her daughter Whitney Houston is fine, now buzz off. -DIGITAL SPY Are you on Twitter? Click here to… Read More »

You must watch this Taiwanese boy sing I Will Always Love You. Move over Susan Boyle and Whitney Houston for that matter. -DLISTED In more vomitous news, Jon Gosselin is seeking full child custody from bad dancer, Kate Gosselin. Yes, she’s annoying, but okideer. -NY DAILY NEWS Brech. This is that Robert Joe Halderman who blackmailed David Letterman. He now has a new girlfriend. (A) Who cares and (B) Truth to my mother’s saying, “There is a cover for every pot…belly. -PAGE 6 Jessica Simpson (luv hu), whose brilliant media comeback by doing The Price of Beauty, is already paying… Read More »