“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Perusing the images from the recent The 12th Annual Young Hollywood Awards felt more like an episode of  The I MEAN…WHAT?!? Nobody News. There was a time when Britney, Lindsay, and Paris made their way down the red carpet, cementing Young Hollywood as the new media focus. They were the new Naomi, Linda and Christie. Now those chicks are onto other things…what…I am not sure…but who or what was at this event in their stead was sad and not hot…and in some cases…not young. Seems like this Young Hollywood thing is over. Let’s start with Brittny Gastineau. First of all,… Read More »

Here’s proof that all you need is some dough in order to get a star of the Hollywood Walk of Fame. What’s next? Grauman’s Chinese Theater letting Kim Kardashian plant her tootsies in their precious cement? Call me old fashioned, but when I think of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I think of Greta Garbo, Jean Harlow, Clark Gable and Fred Astaire…to name a few. Not Howie Mandel, or P Diddy, or does it say Sean Combs…whatever, Buzz Aldrin (really? why, cause he lives in LA?), or Ryan Seacrest. Can we call that a stretch…please? It all proves my point… Read More »

Everyone is doing their Year in Review…why can’t I? Every news station, cable or otherwise, newspaper, magazine, website, you name it…it’s recap central. We are being accosted by The Year’s Best, The Year’s Worst, The Top Ten Movies, The Top Ten CNN Heroes, The Top Thirteen Tiger Woods Hookers, you name it, there’s a list going on. Well, I am not special, I want to do one also. So, join me as we sing Auld Lang Syne here at I Mean…What?!? and close out our (barely) first year since birthin’ the baby (not be confused with the Birther Movement). Herewith… Read More »

Many of you know that I love The Party’s Over, which is my reportage on events that consist of a big batch of people, that nobody knows…well…or as I like to refer to this segment, The Nobody News. Since I have been up to my eyeballs in World Fashion Week…still am…but need a little break…I thought…what better way to bring a smile to our lips than by doing the retail edition of The Party’s Over…or The Nobody News…because as you will see…both titles apply. Actually there’s a secondary theme here, which is the obligatory Saks Fifth Avenue in-store appearance party.… Read More »

We are a mournful bunch. We sob uncontrollably at certain people’s deaths with true conviction. Each death, be it a mogul or a celebrity or a nobody for that matter, is a sad day indeed, especially for those left behind. But in light of some of the recent nationwide mourning-fests, I wanted to stop, pause and mourn the mourning. When Steve Jobs died this week, and the outpouring of sadness began pouring onto Facebook, my immediate reaction was, “Yes he was a visionary, only too bad he didn’t make a commitment to the United States and keep as much production… Read More »

Yes kids, I am a lady who lunches and was in full regalia yesterday at the Hearst Tower for the 7th Annual Anti-Counterfeiting Luncheon. The illegal knock-off industry is growing, becoming increasingly more sophisticated and difficult to police. The rise of on-line sales is creating a new set of challenges beyond the Canal Street hustle. The task to harness the illegal trafficking of these fake designer goods is daunting, to say the least. The bottom line is we all must do our part to curtail, seize, not support, not purchase and monitor our ports. The list of things we all… Read More »

Finally, men can come out of the closet…and we are not talking about their sexuality here, rather, that men can openly say they use cosmetics and still maintain their butchness…ish. The New York Times Style section has an article about the rapidly growing market of cosmetics created exclusively for men. I love that the evolution of man boils down to his desire to maintain his youth and beauty. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. On the contrary. When men became admitted metrosexuals…though I prefer the term Manzies for this purpose…all bets were off. Suddenly, “straight” men were allowed to… Read More »

Look, I am by no means a prude, but have you seen the new campaign to promote the Miss USA pageant? Donlad Trump‘s properties have just had a major Victoria’s Secret overhaul. The marketing campaign just launched and all 51 contestants have traded in their pageant hair and cornball, prom gowns for that skanky, Gross Baboon of the Year look that all of Tiger Woods‘ skanks share. Now, I am all for racy, but didn’t Carrie Prejean…nutbag hypocrite extraordinaire…get chastised for being a skank? Will this new pageant action shift the talent portion of the evening? Will we see Fellatio?… Read More »

I have heard just about enough from the Tea Party, the Tea Baggers, the morons, whatever you want to call them. What country do we live in and worse, what year is this?  When I think back to when the United States was truly, beautifully motivated for change, back in the late 1960’s, when our message was Women’s Rights, Black Power, Student’s Rights, Stop The War, Peace Now, Flower Power, Peace, Love and Woodstock, it makes me sad at the rhetoric we hear now from crowds. Many of these Tea Baggers can barely string together a coherent sentence and worse,… Read More »

Yesterday, I announced my newest nominee for Gross Baboon of the Year with the news of Jesse James and his uber-skank Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (a.k.a. Skanky McGee, in my book). But the competition continues to be fierce for that award. Today, it’s all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods‘ doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts that poor, little victim of poontang, Joslyn endured…then released to the media…really?!? Who can feel sorry for anyone that makes choices with open eyes and hires someone… Read More »