I Mean.... What?!? » Givenchy

Say Yes To The Dress

Abe Gurko — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 11:48:37 +0000

Cheslea Clinton's wedding dress caused more hoopla than this year's Oscars.

There has not been this much talk about a dress since J Lo wore that green, Versace scarf number. In case you have been under a rock, I am referring to Chelsea Clinton’s Vera Wang number. The cover of today’s Women’s Wear Daily declares Chelsea’s Moment, but in truth, it is Vera Wang’s. Miss Wang, known mostly for her wedding collections could not have asked for a better PR moment than the Clinton wedding. Her ready-to-wear collections are much more modern and edgy than her frothy wedding gowns. Though Vera receives a good amount of attention and editorial for her RTW, her recent collaboration with Kohl’s tells another story, namely she needed a cash injection for her company. No one sets out to do a down market collection…I don’t care what you say. The current phenomenon of major design houses doing capsule collections for a bargain basement stores is nothing that Coco Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent would ever sign on for. You can talk high-low dressing all you want….it would just not happen. And if someone tries to say that Coco would have loved to…well…OK then…prove it.

The dress that caused the biggest stir...second to Princess Di's birthday cake number.

What on Earth is this bolt of fabric that we were mesmerized by. Yikes.

This dress will live on in infamy.

Audrey Hepburn and Givenchy changed it all up.

Poor Alicia Keys...her Vera Wang dress went over with a no sizzle...just schnizzle.

Top 20 Iconic Movie Dresses:

1. Marilyn Monroe in her white halterneck dress – The Seven Year Itch
2. Audrey Hepburn’s little black dress – Breakfast At Tiffany’s
3. Jessica Rabbit’s strapless red dress – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
4. Julia Roberts’ spotty polo dress – Pretty Woman
5. Sharon Stone’s white sleeveless dress – Basic Instinct
6. Carrie Fisher’s long white dress as Princess Leia – Star Wars
7. Olivia Newton-John in her white prom dress as Sandy – Grease
8. Judy Garland’s gingham dress as Dorothy- The Wizard of Oz
9. Snow White’s blue and yellow dress – Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs
10. Robin Williams in his blousy dress – Mrs Doubtfire
11. Vivien Leigh’s red off the shoulder dress playing Scarlett O’Hara – Gone With The Wind
12. Audrey Hepburn’s black and white race day dress – My Fair Lady
13. Julie Andrews’ smock dress – The Sound of Music
14. Doris Day in a yellow dress at the end of Calamity Jane
15. Julia Roberts’ long red dress – Pretty Women
16. Cruella de Ville’s black dress with polka dot coat – 101 Dalmatians
17. Jennifer Grey’s pale pink dress worn for the final dance as Baby – Dirty Dancing
18. Guy Pearce’s outlandish frock – The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
19. Julie Andrews coat dress – Mary Poppins
20. Belle’s yellow ball dress - Beauty and The Beast

Couture? Are You Sure?

Abe Gurko — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:44:20 +0000

The Paris Fall Couture Shows are under way and from the looks of it, my editing services were surely needed at all the shows, except maybe Christian Dior. A freind of mine asked me why I didn’t goof on the recent John Galliano men’s show in Paris, and my response was, “John Galliano can do no wrong”. He is such an incredible creative force that he could put doody in a bag, and I would say, “Brava, Maestro.” Anyhoo, back to the couture story at hand…rather… petites mains. Shall we start with Chanel? Look, I know he is the lion that roars. The over-sized golden statue on the runway pretty much sums that up. But frankly, I could have happily Edward Scissorhand-ed my way through some of those looks.

Not flattering.

Too many flaps. Not feeling the cocoon sleeves either.

Not flattering...again. And not feeling every dress with boots either.

A little to pineaplle-y for me. Also, not with boots.

I would Edward Scissorhand the hip apppliques.

Not a fan of the entire Givenchy collection, but this outfit was especially ridiculous. What's with the camel toe? Even Cher would never have worn this in the good ol' days.

Here's another collection that we can all live happily ever after without, Gustavo Lins. Petite mains? My eye. Looks more like the work of Edward Scissorhands, if you ask me.

Really? Couture? Have I got a bridge to sell you.

And who is this...Chewbacca's girlfriend? When Woobies with a string become fashion...correction...couture, no less, well...I say fotz.

I could have lived without a few of Giorgio Armani Prive day looks, quite honestly. It's really about the gowns anyway.

Eh. Whatever.

This is like Emporio Armani. And if that is the plan, to subtly promote that label...well...two snaps up girl.

Alexandre Vauthier clearly wanted to redesign Wonder Woman.

This is "like" so Viktor & Rolf two years ago...and that didn't work either.

Here, Vauthier takes a page out of the JWoww fashion handbook.

See what I mean?

Ans this Vegas number is like an updated Debbie Reynolds.

See what I mean?

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Paris Is Burning Alright…To A Crisp

Abe Gurko — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 17:35:32 +0000

The Milan shows bring out the masculine guns of the fashion industry. Armani, Zegna and Gucci lead the charge in sophisticated, sexy, masculine clothes. One can consider it boring (some of my readers, you know who you are), but it is at the core of the business and must be respected as such. There is less frills on the runways in Milan, than let’s say, it’s sister fashion city, Paris. The shows got off to a hootenanny of a start here in the City of Lights. Once again, we were presented with the quirky man-hat, a look that I was hoping was fully retired since very few were shown in Milan. Alas, Paris marches to a different beat. Paris is where men are able to don a skirt and go food shopping without being looked at cross-eyed…ish. Anything goes in Paris. And that is when I say, please don’t. Here a few samples of what exactly I mean.

The lacy top layer is completely gratuitous. Givenchy expects who to wear this? Nelly?

Come on, a lacy skirt, the lacy layered top, the homely silhouette.

This ensemble would work for Jackie Collins...or her sister Joan.

Or this get up, too.

Yves Saint Laurent presents the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B. Nice length of skort-culotte-skort-let...whatever you call that.

Moodiava.

This is like last Spring's Manzie looks. Fotz.

Now here's a look. Jean Paul Gaultier must have not returned his 3D glasses from Avatar.

This too is a regurgitation of last Spring's Manzie Look.

See what I mean?

I thought this crop-top, Bat Queen look was behind us with Calviin Klein.

Clearly they wash each other out.

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Haute Couture? Not So Sure.

Abe Gurko — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:54:48 +0000

Boy, am I glad I am not a socialite or one of these ladies-who-lunch that have to wear Haute Couture in order to justify my existence. Pawing through the images from this week’s 2010 Spring Couture shows, it is hard to understand why some of these designers even bother. Naturally, there are choices galore at Chanel, Armani Prive, Christian Dior and even Stephane Rolland (major improvement this outing, click for last season’s yikes). You really have to be uber-fabulous and have even more uber-fabulous places to go in order to justify some of these eccentric pieces of art to frolic about in. Surely you can skip prancing around the Lower East Side, Soho or the Meatpacking District. Ready-to-wear will suffice for most Manhattan neighborhoods. And while I am at it, even lunch on Madison and some shopping at Bergdorf Goodman, you can get away with off-the-rack plenty. The world of make believe, where Haute Couture serves as the icing on the cake of a fairy take life is a place that few get the chance to venture to. I would love to be a fly on the wall at a fitting at Christian Dior or Chanel. Karl Lagerfeld and John Galliano are so hilarious, that the experience must be amazing. But, then you have these other clowns designers making things that I just cannot understand. Who on Earth would want to go through fittings, etc, to end up looking like a garbage bag in come cases…or worse…uninteresting? Here are a few ditties from the designers that I coincidentally trashed featured last season that made me say…“I Mean…What?!?”

Givenchy's avalanche of feathers is one way to cover the baby bump.

Birds of a feather...who's wearing this? No starlet I know of.

This is a bit too Vampira for me. Yes, drama is one thing, but Lisa Marie in Ed Wood is something else.

Could this get any weirder? Sure...add feathers at the neck.

Alexander Vauthier loves his shoulder stories. You have the silhouette of a friggen bat in this get up. Hack off the ears and there you go. And if you do that at the fitting...well...do me a favor...do it before the show. And (B) this makes her hips look big.

This is reminiscent of that Tavi hat from the Christian Dior show.

Couture for the plus-size princess...I get it.

And can everyone stop designing specifically for Lady Gaga? "Can you please remove your label, so I can see right through you?"

Maison Martin Margiela is hell bent on making Lady Gaga's freakin' wedding dress. Fotz.

And what, you're supposed to wear this get up with one of those lesbian hairdos where one side is shaved and other side is a pageboy?

Yoo hoo....these ladies eat lunch on Earth.

Messy.

Hey, dingleberry, next time take that schmatta off the display rack.

Anne Valerie Hash is smoking something if she thinks rich matrons wants to pay top dollar for this ensemble, when Top Shop is going global.

Or this.

And surely, she is not going to ask the Shah to sit for a fitting of this look.

Gustavo Lins...yikes. And (B) Leave us men out of it...we had a great showing the past two weeks. We're fine without this nonsense.

Look at the hem on this? Don't tell me, this was in the notes: "It's all about deconstructionism". That story is so old...and does not belong in Haute Couture...I want those petites mains to get cracking.

Okideer.

Paris Continues to Give Great Fashion…Coupled With…

Abe Gurko — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 15:10:32 +0000

This is taken from the Sportswear International Whos' Who - Fashion Yearbook.

As mentioned the other day, my whole thing is not to revel in the fact that some runway looks fall under the umbrella of the Manzie Report. I am a loyal fashion follower and love when there’s nothing but good news to report. Naturally, that will never be the case, because designers love getting in the way of themselves or taking themselves too seriously. Hence, I have etched a place in the fashion reporting pantheon and thoroughly revel in the fact that Sportswear International has dubbed me as one of the 5 Top Fashion Bloggers.

Blaak wants to be the new black...but, I think they should not hold their breath.

I know, the big story is season-less dressing. But there is no season for this look. Not for men anyway.

Even the warmer layer won't warm you up with all the peek-a-boo nonsense.

Snooki might wear the glitter bike shorts, but that's about it.

This is like the Abominable Snowman meets Little House on the Prairie.

I get it, the winter culotte by Comme D Garcons.

This styling suggestion suggests all sorts of ridiculousness.

I love Galliano, and I love him even more for trying to make the man girdle as acceptable fashion...with enlarged cod piece.

I love and would totally wear this girdle as vest.

I loved the collection overall, but you gotta love John's need to throw these looks in...because he can.

Somehow I think he just recycled this look for one of his recent women's collections...for the fun of it.

If Givenchy insists that men wear leggings, my nephew, David Lerner, will surely be happy to add men's to his current collection. Listen up, boy.

I am a long time fan of black and navy together...excpet here. I just don't see the shorts layer over leggings thing...do you? With mandels no less?

Violence was in the house at Jean Paul Gaultier. Yes, there were great pieces, but the Fight Club motiff was a bit obvious.

Whatever.

And this kids Halloween costume that you can buy at Ricky's was totally ridiculous.

The urban sombrero was alive and well at Junn.J...who?

Every look had either the Urban Sombrero or...

The Mata Hari

The Mata Hari, shown here with updated Snuggy.

Couture For The Weary

Abe Gurko — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:25:46 +0000

In Day 2 of the Paris Couture shows, there was definitely more hits than misses with Chanel, Armani Prive and Christian Lacroix showing stunning collections. For people like me, it was slim pickin’s. But as always, one can find horrendosity amongst the flowers, crap alongside elegance, preposterous within reach of fantastic, as in the case of Givenchy. From there we segue into Maison Martin Margiela then onto the two Alexandres.

For the most part, Givenchy was really good...but as designers sometime need a good editor, this wacky ensemble needed something, like rethinking. It does not work. Period. And what's with the jugs?

I was reading an article about how couture is holding its own in this economy. Designers are marketing to a wider global audience. Hmmm...you think Givenchy has India in mind here?

I think it's fierce to have a couture Burka by Givenchy. You'll be 2 snaps up in the desert.

Maison Martin Margiela should have just sat this season out. Dior did a fabulous presentation with underthings but this is like retardo galore. Diesel brought nothing new to this house...on the contrary.

OK, so you made a vest. Now can you get off the couture schedule. Period.

Here, Margiela stole two of Lagerfeld's fans and stitched them together. Voila...couture...for idiots maybe. And next time put some make-up on the model's thighs.

Here Margiela uses those silly snakes in a can to piece together this couture...what the f&#k is this?

And since you wanted it in a grey story, here it is. What's next, a silly string gown to match? Actually...

I guess Alexandre Matthieu got the no bottoms memo. That, or he saw the images from the Dior show and said, "OK, show it without the skirt. They are doing it now."

OK, I give in. I will wear this to the next CFDA event and win The Not Quite Best Dressed Award or The Not Quite Dressed Award.

Alexandre Vauthier also saw the Dior show and canned the bottom. That or he knows something we don't. It is said that the hemline gets shorter when the economy booms.

Here the dress is micro mini again, but you need a separate invitation to the party for those shoulders. And please, make-up on the thighs.

Day 1 Continues Below…