BP has the opportunity to plug the other big hole.

Did you ever have one of those days where nothing seems to make you go mmmm? Far be it from me not to have an opinion on just about everything in today’s headlines, mind you. The Gulf Oil Spill is finally capped. It seems like that saga has gone on longer that than the War in Iraq. Yes, the gusher is sealed, yet there seemed to be no real celebratory hooray from the media. It took second spot to that Wall Street non-starter reform package. Here I thought it was all about the fact that whole areas of land and wildlife were being destroyed, families forced to move away and start new lives, America’s greatest disaster on record. And the response was like…”Ho hum”. Are we that desensitized to great news as opposed to the titanic response to let’s say, Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston’s engagement? How about the 80th newly released audio tape from that crazy lunatic Mel Gibson, kvetching about how broke and horny he is? My suggestion to BP executives and Hilary Rosen, their public relations point person, to combat the unending bad publicity caused by the spill, would be to use the same plugging device on Mel Gibson and watch how quickly the tide will turn for a positive spin. Imagine, a picture of Mel Gibson with a big BP plug in his mouth on the cover of People, Us Weekly, Star, The Huffington Post, Perez Hilton, D-Listed, Gawker. But what do I know?

Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets...

Lola Ciccone has hit her own zeitgeist. She now has a clothing line, a blog, and is a self-proclaimed style maven. The question is: Will Lola revamp the Material Girl look that her Momma made famous umpteen millions years ago? Is that look relevant now? Hey, I thoroughly support and admire anyone who wants to take the world, head on. When I was Lola’s age, all I could think about was smoking pot and laying in the middle of my school football field, watching the stars come out at night, amazed. And I thought that was being major productive. Well, I had finished my homework.

So, what do you think about Look #1? Is this model a bit long in the tooth for it?

What surprised me about Lola’s blog post was just how Perez Hilton she seems in her musings with the “4 realzzz” and “HOLLAs”, ‘n’ stuff. Her intro, “Helluuur thurrrr, I’m Lola and this is my first blog entry so it’s kind of like ummmm….” just does not sound like the girl that Madonna had so carefully kept away from television and schooled at Lycee Francais De NY. Not that I expect her to sound like Miss Snooty Britches, because with Madonna as your guide, that would not work. Again, I wish her nothing but the best and know that with a mom as driven as Madonna, she kind of has no choice but to do whatever Momma wants. Unless, of course, Lola is living up to her namesake song, “Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets”, in which case, Madonna is the willing participant, and had made a deal with the devil Macy’s, against her better judgment.

Surely this dress will be cute on a tween. Should they not have featured it on one?

Two seasons ago, a client of mine featured this exact headband accessory and was laughed out of the marketplace. Timing is everything, I guess.

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Yikes...could he have had a worse outing? No.

Perez Hilton was busy hawking his one-man, boy band, Travis Garland on American Idol and the end result was…yikes. Perez Hilton had the balls to compare this My Space novice to, “Justin Timberlake…only better.” The performance was sad. Sadder than punch actually. The dancers were fotz…and that girl titillating Travis was so stagey lame that I can not believe that no one stopped that routine before it was too late…as in making it to air. Give me a friggen break Marlene. Stop telling us how horrine Lindsay Lohan is and relax. Speaking of stagey lame, Justin Bieber came out to weasel his way back on top of the trending topics list from which he was bounced the other day. And for the BET Awards to nominate The Mini Biebe for an award proves that just about everything on Earth is up for sale. Right Usher? Next up…Bieber gets an NAACP Image Award.

Yowza McGee.

Brittny Gastineau not looking so Young Hollywood.

Perusing the images from the recent The 12th Annual Young Hollywood Awards felt more like an episode of  The I MEAN…WHAT?!? Nobody News. There was a time when Britney, Lindsay, and Paris made their way down the red carpet, cementing Young Hollywood as the new media focus. They were the new Naomi, Linda and Christie. Now those chicks are onto other things…what…I am not sure…but who or what was at this event in their stead was sad and not hot…and in some cases…not young. Seems like this Young Hollywood thing is over. Let’s start with Brittny Gastineau. First of all, she looks like everyone’s mother. As for other non-notables on the red carpet, we have Matisse, the singer…exactly…but who for sure, she will be a break out star. And the always naughty Peaches Geldof…looking a little preggers with her version of Perez Hilton in tow. Then there were like thirty totally no-ones smiling bright for the camera with an occasional reality show star like Doug Reinhardt and a cast off from Americas’s Next Top Model Cycle 4002. Event host, Bonnie Fuller was the biggest star on the carpet…OK…except for the Jonas Brothers….who must have been cringing to be there. There were more sponsors on the step and repeat than anything else.

Matisse will have a big summer song, Better Than Her. Click the video and get ready to boogie.

Actually…listen to this song by Matisse. I really like it as sugary sweet pop as it is.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qYOvWjOcZ8

Peaches Geldof and her tragic fashionista BFF.

This guy was surely there in the hopes of poaching some Young Hollywood tang.

Sarah Jessica Parker is reading up on everything Halston. How about a sewing class. – PAGE SIX

Madonna looks amazing in these ads for Dolce Gabanna’s next ad for MILF’s. – LIVE JOURNAL

So, Anna Wintour’s Fashions Night Out is going to be the word’s largest extravaganza. I wrote about this on February 2. Tell me something I didn’t know. - HUFFINGTON POST

Snooki bagged her boyfriend via voice-mail. Do unto others girl. - PEOPLE

Lindsay Lohan’s next gig playing Linda Lovelace? That would be so major…it’s beyond. - NY POST

These schizophrenics (who I am sure are lovely people) are the lead story in The New York Times Style Section. How schizophrenic is that? - NY TIMES

Style.com says skinny jeans are out and big flare bottoms are in. Agree or disagree? – STYLE.COM

Brooke Muller has loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly…Hills that is…just not in Charlie’s house. (SIDEBAR: Meanwhile, I met an actor yesterday (who shall remain nameless) that had a dalliance with BM, and he said she is a nut bag extraordinaire. Rather…star fucker.) – PEREZ HILTON

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Nicole Scherzinger will be Dancing (Her Tits Off) With The Stars

So, not that I give a flying cahoot, but ABC-TV is beginning to release the names to the media of the people cast for the upcoming edition of Dancing With The Stars, a.k.a. How On God’s Green Earth Is This Show A Hit? Yesterday, Perez Hilton announced that Pamela Anderson will be one of the people desperately holding on to dear life for their careers. Though Kelly Osbourne, who I adore, walked away from this show with flying colors and a fierce body, many have gone onto seeming ridiculous…or insane. My source told me that Pussycat Doll extraordinaire, Nicole Scherzinger is also going to rattle your nerves on next season’s Dancing With The Stars…not to be confused with Lip Syncing For Your Life on the hilarious RuPauls’s Drag Race.

Click here to find out about Kate Gosslin, Shannen Doherty, Jake the Bachelor, Buzz Aldrin and others to also join Nicole and Pamela Anderson on the next season of Dancing With The Stars.

Nicole is rehearsing here for her debut on Dancing For Your Life.

What fashionista.com does not know is the nuance that comes with seating a front row.

I just was reading through the list on fashionista.com about what fashion brands will pay to sit front row during New York Fashion Week. What a crock of hooey. Let me start by saying that part of my business is orchestrating front row talent for assorted companies and none of what they are reporting is true. What I think fashionista.com did was call a slew of garden variety talent agents and received generic quotes. One thing you learn about casting a front row is…never call agents. They love throwing out ridiculous nilly-willy high prices. And that does not even get you anywhere near guaranteeing the talent. Booking talent for front row or any other event or project is not as cut and dry as buying something online. There is no Celebrity Ebay. Sure, people think we have celebrities chilling on ice, that you crack them off one by one when you need to spice up an event, or dazzle the press. But it is a far more complicated process, one that takes years of cultivating relationships. There is much navigating the waters of publicists with agendas, managers with different agendas and the talent, who usually are the nicest people, but the handlers make you think otherwise. Stressful? Sure. What isn’t during Fashion Week?

Does fashionista.com no longer consider Madonna a celebrity?

And as for Marc Jacobs “banning” celebrities from his front row. Is Madonna no longer a celebrity? She was there, with her twinkie in tow. And Perez Hilton surely considers himself a celebrity and he was there as well. Look, don’t take it out on me. If the press would commit to attending shows without a friggen tip sheet, then maybe the crush of celebrity might not be in such high demand. If the press covered the designers for the actual collection, then we’d be in a different game. But we’re not Blanche, we’re not. Yes, talent is a high stakes game. But the economy crashed, remember? And to throw out those numbers like 100 grand for Rihanna and 80 grand for Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen is silly. I mean…get a grip. Who on Earth would pay the Olsen Twins anything when they have two collections showing at Fashion Week? It is utter nonsense.