Madoona, I love you, but get your ass out of the photo op and onto the field. Grab a hammer and start building.

Having worked in fundraising for wonderful charities, it is with a heavy heart  to learn about the horrendous scam circling Madonna‘s now ill-conceived school for girls in Malawi. I say ill-conceived because if this project was properly structured, with vigorous oversight, then 3.8 million dollars would not have vanished. Who is to blame? Surely the Executive Director, Philippe van den Bossche, who became involved with Madonna’s trainer, Tracy Anderson, in the middle of the project. Now it makes sense why Madonna fired her “celebrity trainer ass“. Now, someone tell me how a 15 million dollar project allows for a 3.8 million dollar loss…with nothing to show for it? Were all the egos involved so large that no one could see the forest from the trees? And wait, much of that 3.8 million went to architects and designers according to Page Six. Excuse me, we’re talking Malawi here not the Miami Design District. Does Malawi need some pretentious design vomit or a clean, safe building to teach the girls in? Sounds like gross, egregious highway robbery to me. Shame on everyone involved. This van den Bossche schmuck, like many bankers and Wall Street scam artists need to be slapped-their-ass into jail, where their asses will be slapped for years to come.

As for Madonna? She needs to shut her trap for a while and dig in and make sure that what has been wronged gets righted somehow. Scrap the project? I don’t think so. That is unacceptable. We don’t need to see her dancing around with twinkies for a few months until something constructive happens in Malawi. This is like that Oprah scandal in Africa where the girl school she built was riddled with sexual predators. How about celebrities just giving money and side stepping the in-your-face PR opportunities associated with them. Clearly celebrity status is valuable for raising money, but how about stopping there? Surely the egos of Madonna and Oprah would not let them? Oprah had to drag her sorry ass over to Africa after that debacle. Now Madonna better get her perfectly sculpted ass on a plane and spend some time donning a construction hat working directly with the contractors on a nice rectangular building with working bathrooms. Or else, girl.

I Mean…What?!?

Call me a prude, fine, but the things some women wear these days are way too revealing…OK…slutty. Sexy is a great thing, and details like backless, plunging necklines, or even midriff baring are all fine by me. But there is a fine line that divides sexy and bad taste. The lack of outrage from womens groups or their silence is disheartening. Is this what Gloria Steinem fought for? Women to flaunt their tits and parade around like sexual objects of desire with their phony catch me, catch me coquettish acts? I don’t think so. I am not saying cover up, rather, be thoughtful before you go shimmying your boobs around like some hussy.

This is who America is watching on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yikes. This suburban wanna-be Playmate of the Year 1997 needs to relax.

This January Jones GQ cover shot is gratuitous at best. And for GQ to be modeling itself after Maxim...well...bye.

Seems like everywhere I turn Pamela Anderson is prancing around buttless. As I mentioned earlier this week, I like her but she now has to become a cougar and fade a bit out of the spotlight, and wear a layer. She's not Esther Williams.

Tracey Anderson needs to wear a dress that fits better. This image speaks volumes to me. Annoying.

OK lady, you are not JLo. This could have so easily been flawless. And the whole Lady Gaga pantless thing is so weird already. On stage is one thing, but a red carpet is not a stage...so try not to convince yourself otherwise.

I know, a little titty on the runway goes a long way...but this season the endless parade of underwear as fashion was bordering on sexist.

So…am I a prude or am I right?

I Mean…What?!?

The above statement definitely makes me sound clueless, and perhaps I am. Though many of you have commented on my honesty and astute observations about the media, fashion, celebrity and politics, I still find myself scratching my head whenever I read the headlines. Today is no exception. Whether it’s from The New York Times, The Huffington Post or People.com, the headlines are chock full of information that gives me pause…to say the least. Here’s a few of today’s ditties.

1. Two Americans won the Nobel Prize for Economics. Note to Obama: Hire these two at once.

2. A fat baby was denied health insurance coverage for pre-existing condition. I’m sure glad that when I was a fat baby, things like this were not happening.

3. Shephard Fairy, the artist who designed the Obama Hope poster will design for Levi’s. Here we have a case of, “Excuse me, can you remove your label so I can see right through you?”

4. Rachel Zoe is obsessed with Michelle Obama. So, what else is new…what stylist isn’t?

5. Madonna drops celebrity trainer Tracy Anderson. Celebrity & trainer does not compute.

6. Kate Gosselin applies for child and spousal support from… This is not clear. I hope she and Jon Gosselin, well…all 10 of them just disappear in the the woodwork. Because EIGHT IS ENOUGH ALREADY.

7. Nicolas Cage is millions in debt. Wait, let me grab my violin. Celebrity spendthrifts are not interesting.

8. Continued coverage of David Letterman’s sex life. Can I brech now or later?

I Mean…What?!?