Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche OR Wear Designer Shorts

May 22, 2009Fashion

Recently I pointedly pointed out how silly looking The Quirky Man-Hat was and that guys who wore these too-small-for-their-head hats, looked like Man-zies. The newest addition to the “Must Not Do” list for men is wearing designer shorts. Unless of course, you don’t mind looking like a big ol’ Man-zie. The New York Times’ recent, lame-ass editorial spread on men’s looks for spring…a.k.a. MAN-SIES GALORE was all sorts of wrong. The Style section is an abomination: so after the fashion fact and past the curve of relevant. Oh and by the way, Cathy Horn needs to leave The New York Times. She has the only voice and frankly, I’d like to see her make a major move.

If you peruse the images of any Spring/Summer runway show, you will see the nelly-est bunch of man-boys that would sooner be caught dead in those ensembles…if they were not getting paid to prance down the runway. Women can virtually wear anything; style it, layer it, szhooszh it, accessorize it and out the door. Men however don’t have that luxury. In the 80’s Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche was a huge best seller, a comment on masculinity. Now I could see the follow up being Real Men Don’t Wear Designer Shorts. Besides those beat-up, unflattering cargo shorts, there’s few options that won’t make any guy look like Little Lord Fauntleroy. Special Note: The book Little Lord Fauntleroy actually impacted the fashion industry for men. See examples below as well as the Grey Lady’s version of Man-zie.

Please

2 Responses to “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche OR Wear Designer Shorts”

  1. Hi Abe,
    I love most men in shorts. I think men who are in shape and have great legs should show them. Obviously, if one has horrendous, veiny, excessively hairy, old and pale, or just plain ugly legs, then shorts are very wrong. But, otherwise mens legs are generally attractive and a nice pair of shorts add casual confidence to the wearer. Open toe sandals — now that is another thing altogether. No man should be wearing open toe sandals except at the beach. PERIOD. The guy who wears the flip-flops, or guarchi sandals (tire tread bottom), while walking around the city is just gauche (gross). Even designer sandals should be saved for the beach or boat. The smart and sexy guy wears a pair of docksiders for the summer look, or canvas converse type sneakers. Anyway, I digress. The problem with the designer versions in the photos is they tried to use shorts in formal looking wear. That is the mistake. Shorts and jackets just don't make sense. Actually, the photo that is least objectionable is the grey plaid shorts with a pullover shirt. The shirt should have been sleeveless, but, overall, it isn't bad. The other outfits are just stupid. The fault is of the designers, not with shorts being not fashionable.

    Thanks for your very amusing emails and blog site.
    Jonathan

  2. Marty Winley says:

    I have been to your site half a dozen times now, and this time I am adding it to my bookmarks :) Your discussions are always relevant, unlike the same-old stuff on other sites (which are coming off my bookmarks!) Rock on!

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