“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Look, far be it from me to tell the master, Karl Lagerfeld, anything. After all, he is considered the master for many reasons. Karl is also someone that must be surrounded by people who dare not say anything to him that might get him mad, ’cause Daddy Karl looks like someone you do not want to cross. Having perused the new, fabulous Chanel Resort 2011 Collection that was just shown in St. Tropez, frankly, he could stand to have someone…preferably me…stand alongside him to say what should be cut from the show. First of all 87 looks? Really? Yes, he… Read More »

Not too long ago, I reported on the new fragrance, Lolavie by Jennifer Aniston, The Sweet Smell of Celebrity. Though she surely is not the first, and clearly not the last movie star to multi-task while branding, this disturbing trend has taken another bow with a celebrity men’s fragrance, called The Secret by Antonio Banderas. Gee, I thought The Secret was a spiritual quest for garnering wealth. Perhaps it still is…but in case…just for Antonio…as opposed to the betterment of mankind. Seems like the new scoop is, in order to be famous, you have to be brand-able. Well, I said… Read More »

Look, I am by no means a prude, but have you seen the new campaign to promote the Miss USA pageant? Donlad Trump‘s properties have just had a major Victoria’s Secret overhaul. The marketing campaign just launched and all 51 contestants have traded in their pageant hair and cornball, prom gowns for that skanky, Gross Baboon of the Year look that all of Tiger Woods‘ skanks share. Now, I am all for racy, but didn’t Carrie Prejean…nutbag hypocrite extraordinaire…get chastised for being a skank? Will this new pageant action shift the talent portion of the evening? Will we see Fellatio?… Read More »

Has the rose fallen off the bloom? These new episodes of Jersey Shore Meets Miami better be hilare. – NY DAILY NEWS Michael Lohan needs to get out of the public eye and skank off into the sunset and away from Lindsay and Ali. Meanwhile where is Orange Oprah in all of this? – US MAGAZINE Just had to share this photo that my assistant Ryan has posted on his Facebook wall of…yes…that is Britney Spears. – FACEBOOK Thank you Cathy Horyn from The New York Times, On The Runway, for sharing this gem. – YOU TUBE In other Lindsay… Read More »

Can you name the Bette Davis movie where she says, “What a dump” before I count to ten? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. You got it? OK, you win. The first three people to email me the correct answer to abe@imeanwhat.com will receive an I MEAN WHAT?!? trucker hat. Anyhoo, I am way off on a tangent. I went house hunting on Sunday in Los Angeles with a friend who is ready to plunk down $1.5 million dollars on a house. OK…to some, it’s like nothing. But to many, it’s plenty. We saw some lovely, lovely homes. A cool, four bedroom beauty, with original… Read More »

I have not talked about politics for quite a while. And there have been moments of absolute horror while reading the Huffington Post about the goings on in Washington, DC. Much of what was happening within our democracy over the past year had me dumbfounded. I began to loose faith…I closed my eyes…I turned the other cheek. When I became horrified…correction, mortified at some of the libelous and slanderous things that the nay-sayers…correction, Tea Partyers were saying, did I voice my concern? No. I am guilty as charged for frolicking through the fabulostiy of fashion and calibrating the crunk of… Read More »

While the nation waits with bated breath as the Senate votes on Barack Obama’s Health Care Reform Bill, that lovely specimen of a human, Rachel Uchitel is far more preoccupied with matters of national security…namely herself. Let’s see what one of Tiger Woods‘ silly, sex slaves is busy with today. My source tells me that Rachel is stressed and feels really alone with her millions that known Madam, Gloria Allred, secured for her. Poor baby…money to burn and no where to go but to the press. See the letter below that Madam Allred just sent to Jeff Beacher, who trashed… Read More »

There’s no accounting for taste, or what the American public will salivate over in terms of media nonsense. Case in point: The Jay Leno – Conan O’Brien Saga of Tremense Proportions. I could care less which one of these guys is on which channel and at what time…if ever again. We (those of us on Earth) are dealing with two vital wars, a tragedy in Haiti that has tragic ramifications, we are starting to lose our Democratic grip in the Senate, Barack Obama is walking around like a wounded puppy, and this is the big news…every day for the past… Read More »

When Alphonse Karr said, “The more things change, the more they remain the same”, he must have had a vision of the United States, circa 2009. At a time when we are most in need of change (hey, I thought that was going to happen with the Obama Administration, but what do I know), we are just stagnantly maintaining the status quo, in light of our misgivings. The turn of events since the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas in which Barack Obama finally moseyed over to a microphone to make a poorly written and delivered speech about the “evil doers”,… Read More »

“To err is human; to forgive is divine” – Alexander Pope. The funny thing about our hypocritical society is that we are so quick to judge and so reluctant to forgive. The United States was created by a bunch of uptight religious zealots, Puritans, and their values are still immersed in our culture. No matter how modern we get, like Tiger(s), we do not change our stripes. As much as I am trying to ignore the Tiger Woods saga, it is impossible for me not to chime in every once in a while, especially when I see the Puritans having… Read More »