More Bla Bla on "Poontang"

I love Jessica…arrest me. She bumped into her ex…this is news? My birthday is news! – JUST JARED Courtney Loves says ugly girls are better poontang. OK… – PAGE SIX Whatever Lola wants…which one is Lola? Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes? – POP CRUNCH Anna Wintour cuts the rug with P. Diddy after the Costume Ball. – RAP-UP Donny Osmond’s poster was sued as a….you won’t believe it. Read this. – D LISTED… Read More »

Here’s a situation that has me riveted…in a guilty pleasure kind of way…kind of like watching…The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. Where you really can’t believe that you got whooped up into wasting two hours of your precious time on earth watching this stupid show, yet, totally hoping that anyone but Vienna wins…and horrified when she did. Hence, you lost all respect for Jake. In that same way, I am wondering what Sandra Bullock and Elin Nordegren will do about their cheating husbands? Will they or won’t they forgive them…or will they just leave? Who hasn’t made their minds… Read More »

Yesterday, I announced my newest nominee for Gross Baboon of the Year with the news of Jesse James and his uber-skank Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (a.k.a. Skanky McGee, in my book). But the competition continues to be fierce for that award. Today, it’s all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods‘ doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts that poor, little victim of poontang, Joslyn endured…then released to the media…really?!? Who can feel sorry for anyone that makes choices with open eyes and hires someone… Read More »

Just watched the press conference with Tiger Woods, looking all pouty and apologetic for have endless amounts of glommy and poontang with a gaggle of hussies. I am not buying any of it. As you all know, golf has never been a big attraction for me, so why would I hang on every word that someone that wears pleated slacks. Anyway, I could only imagine what Rachel Uchitel (Lips McGilicutty) was doing during this press conference. She, who was his weekend sex toy, who reveled in Tiger’s salacious requests for constant sexual favors between golf holes. (Stop) Who wouldn’t want… Read More »

After what was surely the greatest media story on Earth, second to the death of Michael Jackson, The Tiger Woods Affair…rather….affairs, took an unexpected turn when Elin, the long suffering golf club aficionado, reunited with her overly poontanged husband, Tiger. In the midst of that media flurry, when the public was introduced to 13 of the skankiest bitches on the planet, Elin hired an attorney and the prospect of 350 million dollars was surly the best reason to leave her philandering, sex addict of a husband for Sweden’s lake shores. But, the holidays came and went and Elin must have… Read More »

Ahhh, the journey of one person’s struggle to become a celebrity. How many of these situations have we watched unfold in front of our eyes. Lost count? I sure have. But I’d like to stop and discuss a few of these people who have hit the airwaves with a thunderous boom and share my perspective. Today’s article in The New York Times Style section about Jesus Luz, Madonna’s boyfriend, is a searing, riveting tale of how one poor, little boy in Brazil made his way to the top of the New York City heap, complete with publicist. Grab your hankies.… Read More »

Awww. The poor little babies (a.k.a tragic media whores) that think they are all that and a bag of chips by virtue of their being tracked by the tabloid news. You have to love these people for they know not who they are. They only know who they think they are. Then we also have the people who’s media-driven projects that got all sorts of hype but alas, did not live up to the expectations. Cheer up because you have been graced with the honor of being on the I MEAN…WHAT?!? LAST FIVE MINUTES OF FAME LIST. It’s a great… Read More »

Several weeks ago I did a piece called “Is Everybody High Line?” which talked about the much anticipated opening of the High Line, that lovely patch of park/stroll fest (whatever) that stretches from the Meatpacking District to the West Chelsea Gallery District. The sound alone sounds like the hippest channel on Earth. It surely is lovely, especially at night. But it’s much ado about little. Nothing has received more press than the High Line except maybe the passing of Michael Jackson. The pomp and circumstance around this clinking clanking clattering collection of collagenous junk was way over the top. It’s… Read More »

In case you have been living under a rock in New York City, then you will surely know that the long-awaited High Line opened its pearly gates this week…after much toiling and trepidation. Finally, you can stroll down this lovely patch of whatever it is, that stretches from the Meatpacking District to Far West Chelsea. This, naturally, suits me just fine as I live on one end and have a client on the other. It’s as though they built this little walk-way just for me. And a stunning patch of thing it is….at night it’s amazing. Thank you New York… Read More »

Do not go gently into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. So wrote Dylan Thomas as he watched his father grow frail with age. Not sure why, but I thought of this poem while reading the lead story in the New York Post about Madonna’s boy-toy…do I hate that expression…Jesus Luz. For there to be a lead story on Madonna’s poontang du jour, we must follow the bouncing publicist. This just means that Madge…a nickname I don’t really like…must have let out the Liz Rosenberg… Read More »