“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

After a very heavy weekend of serious issues hanging over our heads…Ground Zero + Mosque = Nightmare, let’s take a respite from hard news. Today the airwaves are filled with a bunch of nobodies. In light of our failing economy, endless wars, catastrophe in Pakistan, we could use a dose of mindless blather. No? Let’s see who rates as major nobodies. Follow I Mean…What?!? on Twitter.… Read More »

Boy, it has been way too long since I did an entry of The Nobody News. Summer is usually the best time for TNN because virtually every nobody thinks they are somebody and virtually every nobody is wrong about that. We are all entitled to a good time for sure, just let’s relax about who gets included in Wire Image and Patrick McMullan. At least in The Evening Hours by Bill Cunningham in The New York Times Style section they feature people that are doing some good by attending fundraisers. So…nobodies with money. Ouch. This edition of The Nobody News… Read More »

Phew. Award season is over. Whether you are pleased with the results of the Oscar winners (I am), or the Oscar telecast (I’m not), or the Red Carpet gowns (I’m OK overall) or the constant coverage (I’m exhausted), you have to be somewhat relieved that the barrage of celebrity overload is over…for now. Look, I, too, love celebrity culture, but you have to admit, with the rise in urgency of every award show (including the Razzies), we are now chock-full of Gabourey Sidibe (someone tell her to stop screaming), Jason Reitman (your daddy directed Kindergarten Cop, stop thanking him) and… Read More »

It’s been a while since I did The Nobody News and with the holidays upon us, Lord knows there’s plenty of nobodies buzzing around that need to be recognized here today. The poor dears turn up at events, store appearances and even Jewish weddings. Maybe I just need to get over myself and leave them alone so they can enjoy their moment (if that) in the sun. Nah.… Read More »

All the News About Nobodies That’s Fit to Print. This surely has become one of my favorite I Mean What?!? entries. The phenomenon that is “People in the News” has been so watered down, that we are now desensitized to actual news about people that are really interesting. Anyway, I’ve explained The Nobody News countless times. It’s just a fact of life that the fast lane is so crowded with wanna be’s.… Read More »

It’s been a while since The Nobody News appeared on I Mean…What?!? and with the weather in New York City being so uber-dreary, I needed a lift. To all of you newbies, The Nobody News, is news about a bunch of nobodies…that think they are somebodies…and followed by a bunch of nobodies…who also wish they were somebodies. If you do not know what I just said, it pretty much sums up our current media fascination with a pack of annoying individuals. Looking at today’s news reports, it was clear that the Nobody News was aching for a comeback. With that,… Read More »

On several occasions I have featured The Nobody News and The Party’s Over, with stories and pictures of people you’d never want to meet. Kind of like Guest of a Guest or Hamptons Online only I was not serious. The people that those media (?) outlets feature on their party pages give new meaning to “the rags”. (I don’t care what their traffic is.) They actually legitimize the tabloids. I mean…seriously…reportage from a hagfest? Not only have we sunk to a new low on celebrity coverage, but now we have created an industry featuring people that you didn’t like in… Read More »

Last month I did a piece called the Nobody News, which is about a bunch of nobodies…that seem to be somebody…to a bunch of nobodies. If you do not know what I just said, it pretty much sums up our current media fascination with plucked-out-of-obscurity “notables”. That and a couple of “celebrities” thrown into the mix, a.k.a. people I couldn’t care less about. However, do I stand alone? Looking at today’s news reports, it was clear that the Nobody News was aching for a comeback. With that, I give you this.… Read More »

Some days there are a slew of silly stories that are worth commenting on. This is one of those days. There is no real theme, no rhyme, no reason. Well, surely there is no reason for these people to be in the news, but since they are, hello fodder. NEWSFLASH!!! Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin have become friends since the ‘I hate gays (except my mother) speech’. Birds of a feather. NEWSFLASH!!!  Carrie Prejean confesses to sex tape on Sean Hannity’s FOX-TV News Show: “It was the biggest mistake of my life-ish.” To read past installments of The Nobody News,… Read More »

In the Golden Days of Hollywood, no one cared about much besides the stars of stage and screen. Tallulah Bankhead, Bette Davis, Katherine Hepburn, Clark Cable, the list goes on. Seems like we have graduated (or what’s the opposite of that?) to be far more concerned with the whereabouts and goings on of the lowest of lowbrows of our society. The Nobody Newzzz is back and we have plenty to crow about. Crow as in old crow because the top story this week is about the Salahis. You will remember Michaele and Tartiq Salahi, that couple of Gross Baboons who… Read More »