“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Recently, January Jones was photographed in GQ flaunting her tits a la Maxim. As the magazine industry continues to spiral downward, GQ, whose readers I guess want to see boobs, has been featuring actresses with that come hither approach to photography a.k.a. Playboy. Maxim is the NASCAR version of Playboy, and the more attention the women get who grace the pages, the more little Hollywood starlets want to be featured there. Case in point, child actress Amanda Bynes, who took this Maxim moment to break out from her goody-two-shoes perception and show the world her parts. I call this Maxim phenomenon the Amanda Bynes Principle, which is the act of bearing all in an effort to prove that that she can do more than just look cute. She can show us how cute her tits are, as well. Naturally, Amanda is doing this in the hopes of getting better acting bits. “I want to show people who I am,” she said. “My parents were like, ‘Does this mean you’re gonna do sexy movies now?’ I said, ‘Well, if they’re done the right way, then maybe!’ I mean, I’m not gonna do porn, but if it’s a Leonardo DiCaprio movie or whatever…”

Not gonna do porn, huh? OK…mark my words…if she doesn’t get a Leonardo DiCaprio role soon, the Amanda Bynes sex tape is bound to hit the internet. You’ll see.