AMANDA BYNES UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:
Yes, the train wreck, Amanda Bynes is moving to New York City. No one is safe. Page Six is reporting that bit of scary news. Though New Yorkers have a reputation of being tough and no nonsense, we have not been confronted by the likes of Amanda Bynes. This bitch will run your ass over and monopolize every table in every Starbucks south of Central Park South. You think I’m kidding? She is hiding out in public here in New York. She can not go back home to Los Angeles because everyone is over her. So Amanda believes that this is her rightful place to reinvent herself. The wanna-be Lindsay Lohan is trying to…get this…get into the fashion industry. Like anyone wants to dress like her, stuffed into a bandage dress. Well, let’s face it, there is no accounting for taste these days, so why the hell not? Surely we will see her in the front row of many C-List fashion shows next season before she takes her rightful place at the helm of some bullshit brand. As I said earlier, no one is safe!
The Amanda Bynes Principle – September 29, 2012
The situation with Amanda Bynes is such old news. Lindsay Lohan she is not, but let me be clear. They both share similar bullshit syndromes and endless annoying behavioral patterns like Disney-instilled psychosis and I-Love-Myself Distortia. The truth is, they can both move to Kazakhstan and we will continue to live our lives in peace, harmony and joy. I have been commenting on Amanda Bynes and her desperate attempt to not be an chubby faced non getting work actress for years and now everyone has caught up to snuff. And when I say snuff, I predict that she may soon appear in a snuff film.
The Amanda Bynes Principle Marches On – April 9, 2012
Amanda Bynes proved me wrong. A couple of years ago there wasn’t anything she would not do to be noticed by the industry, or anyone for that matter. The expression Amanda Bynes couldn’t get arrested came to mind. Well, tadah. She did. For drunken driving. Perhpas now things will heat up for the star, who ran from jail posting $5,000 bail to meet with her publicist at the Polo Lounge or something like that to discuss her fate and be seen, naturally. Anyhoo, read below from a couple years back when she first starting doing stuff to get noticed.
The Amanda Bynes Principle – February 11, 2010
Poor Amanda Bynes . She is so hell bent on shaking her goodie-two-shoes image that she is wildly going where no Mickey Mouse Club veteran has ever gone. Recently photographed for Maxim, the NASCAR version of Playboy, Miss Bynes, or…Mistress Bynes as I am sure she’d rather be called, exposed her kitten-with-a-whip side, along with her parts for all the world to see. As a result of her tomfoolery, which I call The Amanda Bynes Principle, is the act of bearing all in an effort to get better acting bits. “I want to show people who I am,” says Amanda. Mission Accomplished. “My parents were like, ‘Does this mean you’re gonna do sexy movies now?’ I said, ‘Well, if they’re done the right way, then maybe!’ I mean, I’m not gonna do porn, but if it’s a Leonardo DiCaprio movie or whatever…”
Today in the news…yikes…there is a story about Amanda’s tweets…not tits…tweets. Of course Amanda tweets…and it’s all about her sex life. “it’s amazing how good it feels when someone knows how to love your body! i am having withdrawals from a certain guy lol …so turns out i prefer chocolate over vanilla. interesting.” Her parents must be breching (vomit in Yiddish).
EVEN BEFORE THAT ON JANUARY 9, 2010, I WROTE THIS:
Recently, January Jones was photographed in GQ flaunting her tits a la Maxim. As the magazine industry continues to spiral downward, GQ, whose readers I guess want to see boobs, has been featuring actresses with that come hither approach to photography a.k.a. Playboy. Maxim is the NASCAR version of Playboy, and the more attention the women get who grace the pages, the more little Hollywood starlets want to be featured there. Case in point, child actress Amanda Bynes, who took this Maxim moment to break out from her goody-two-shoes perception and show the world her parts. I call this Maxim phenomenon the Amanda Bynes Principle, which is the act of bearing all in an effort to prove that that she can do more than just look cute. She can show us how cute her tits are, as well. Naturally, Amanda is doing this in the hopes of getting better acting bits. “I want to show people who I am,” she said. “My parents were like, ‘Does this mean you’re gonna do sexy movies now?’ I said, ‘Well, if they’re done the right way, then maybe!’ I mean, I’m not gonna do porn, but if it’s a Leonardo DiCaprio movie or whatever…”
Not gonna do porn, huh? OK…mark my words…if she doesn’t get a Leonardo DiCaprio role soon, the Amanda Bynes sex tape is bound to hit the internet. You’ll see.