August Osage County just might be the worst movie of the year. Since her royal highness Meryl Streep is the film’s star, no one will say boo and admit that I am 100% right. This loud, talky, ensemble nightmare features a dream cast but the problem is each character is so unlikeable that the only person you root for is yourself. Why? Because you begin to take pity for the fact that you did not walk out of the movie at the first sign that everyone is yelling. But then again you couldn’t because you were frozen in shock from all this drivel.
Speaking of her royal highness, Meryl will undoubtedly receive high praise for playing the drug addicted matriarch of this screaming, annoying brood. Trust me, if ever you wished for someone to overdose and put an end to their misery, and mine, this is that character. I tend to love drug addicts but Ms. Streep gives us drug addicts a bad name. She even goes in and out of the Southern accent that this kvetchy character requires making me wonder, did she ask to see the rushes?
It has been way too long since Julia Roberts graced the big screen. One would imagine that is because her last couple of outings, specifically in Charlie Wilson’s War, Larry Crowne and that debacle Mirror, Mirror, forced her into hiding and using the excuse of “wanting to raise my family out of the glare of Hollywood” A.K.A. a good excuse for bad choices. And (B) since when did anyone think that twice coupling Julia Roberts with Tom Hanks was a dynamic duo resembling the magical pairings of say William Powell and Myra Loy. Whatever. I happen to be a Julia Roberts fan…or shall I say was, up until around 2009 when mistakes like Fireflies in the Garden, Valentine’s Day and Eat, Pray, Love happened.
Hollywood is in a tizzy over Benedict Cumberbatch and all I can say is…have you all lost you minds? I went to see Bette Middler playing Sue Mengers in I’ll Eat You Last, which is like a bird’s eye view of Hollywood when Hollywood was filled with exciting actors and it begs the question, can you even put Benedict Cumberbun in the same sentence with Paul Newman, Gene Hackman, or Warren Beatty? Don’t answer that. We live in a time where mediocrity sells and although Benedict must be a lovely human being, but surely we can all relax about his tour de force brilliance. I have three words for you, The Fifth State.
Abigail Breslin is annoying and Dermot Mulroney is too, so no wonder they have scenes together. Juliette Lewis plays another annoying character, this one an airhead but at least gets the one monologue that has some depth. Chris Cooper plays the only normal person in the entire film. Trouble is he does not have enough lines or the wattage to save this talky, yelling nightmare of a movie. By the end of the movie, the dramatic plot point of incest comes to the forefront but by then I was like, “Whatever. Who Cares. Just do it.”
