“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Two snaps up to Katy Perry for landing uber-hottie, Baptiste Giabiconi during Paris Fashion Week. Now that is a solid ‘fuck you’ to her ex-nudnik, Russell Brand, a pairing was nauseating from the star. Eswpecially with their two-thousand-day wedding in India minutes after they met. That was kind of a PR scam coupling along the lines of the Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. Maybe I am being too harsh on Katy.

Not to be out-shined, Russell Brand also snagged a model toot suite. Some Canadian slag that ran to chat with Life & Style magazine. “He’s amazing, so funny; he’s beautiful.” Excuse me honey, but can you remove your label so I can see right through you? Katy wins this round for sure. Let’s just hope that Karl Lagerfeld is not seething with jealousy and giving Katy the Evil Eye since Baptiste is goo-goo-ga-ga over Katy—who is five years older than him. Technically this is not a cougar situation but the blue hair does make her look older, hence Cougar Smurf. She needs to keep the dark hair as shown on the Interview Magazine cover, stat.