“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

What could be more devastating to the American public than finding out that our reigning queen of all media…not you Perez Hilton, sorry girl…but Oprah Winfrey, has been exaggerating on all points of light about her upbringing in an effort to gain sympathy and trust, hence viewers galore? Nothing. According to Kitty Kelley, another queen, but her sovereignty is Unauthorized Biography-land, Ms. Winfrey has created a world of tragedy and drama, so much so, that violins will be playing. Kelley has dug into the lives of Jackie O, Frank Sinatra, the Bush family, Elizabeth Taylor, well, see the through line here? Anyone that gets gobs of press. Anyhoo, Oprah is the current subject of the book, Oprah, great title. In this tome, we find out all the hearsay that is fit to print. Ditties like:

* Winfrey concocted stories about sexual abuse she suffered as a child — and grossly exaggerated the poverty she was brought up in.

* She went to great lengths to conceal her “lesbian affairs” — including hefty payoffs — and publicly attached herself to Graham to appear more normal to her audience of housewives.

* She lavished romantic gifts — including a diamond toe ring — on ABC talking head Diane Sawyer.

* Winfrey sold her body to earn extra money and has even described herself as a teen “prostitute.”

* She doesn’t know the true identity of her biological father.

* Her relationship with her own mother is so cold that Winfrey won’t even let the older woman have her phone number.

Whatever the facts, Oprah is surely not putting this book on the Oprah Book Club. The other thing though, is that all this publicity will benefit The Ops and her new network without a doubt.