“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

I want to be Mary Alice Stephenson when I come back to Earth in my next life. Tall, blond, female, smart, beautiful, industrious, glamorous…need I say more? Either I want to be just like her or a French poodle in a Jewish household on Long Island. Both lives are charmed. I met Mary Alice at a fund-raising event…you see…she is perfect…and we have since kept in touch. Recently, we both were speaking on a panel about the future of the fashion industry. There she was, clad in red Calvin Klein fierceness. I mentioned interviewing her for IMW-TV, though at that… Read More »

Am I just an old, jaded, desensitized grump who disagrees with everything out of sheer habit or do I say what many people feel, and don’t say anything?!? Looking at the list that Barbara Walters (Babba Wawwa for those of you who remember Rosanne Rosanna Danna) put together for her 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 reads like the 10 Most Googled People on Earth. Frankly, Google should do their own online TV show and let Babba settle into the distance. Google-able and Fascinating are not the same thing in my mind. Let’s discuss for one minute the word fascinating.… Read More »

Awww. The poor little babies (a.k.a tragic media whores) that think they are all that and a bag of chips by virtue of their being tracked by the tabloid news. You have to love these people for they know not who they are. They only know who they think they are. Then we also have the people who’s media-driven projects that got all sorts of hype but alas, did not live up to the expectations. Cheer up because you have been graced with the honor of being on the I MEAN…WHAT?!? LAST FIVE MINUTES OF FAME LIST. It’s a great… Read More »

Short List of Things That I Am Just Not Feeling: Bullshit Gucci Fragrance Outtakes, (click on this link or on the image, you tell me.)… Read More »

Cheeks…they are all the rage. Cheeks are the new black. Everyone is getting “the cheeks”. If you don’t have “the cheeks”, then you just don’t have cheeks. The use of facial fillers such as Juvederm, Sculptra, Restylane, Radiesse, and Collagen have become the short answer to the long question, “Why must we age?” New York Magazine did an in-depth report on The New Face, which is the dire attempt to bring your old face back, the face you had when you were young, rather than the tragically obvious face-lift. Face-lifts are sooo last decade. Fillers are what’s happening, and everyone… Read More »

Ahh, the head shot. That ticket in. The piece of critical collateral that determines whether you stand a chance to get through step one of “I wanna be famous!” We’ve all…well…many of us…have gone through the process. Really hopeful and exuberant. Filled with pride that our hidden talents shall soon be unleashed for the world to admire. Thanks to that glossy piece of paper, featuring you and all your features. If you have not gone through that sticky process, let me say that between the time you decide you want to get a head shot and having the actual stack… Read More »

Excuse me…but…can we please, at least, begin to move on from this Michael Jackson Celebrity Death Match? I know, it’s sad. Death as a concept is sad. Yes, I believe in the after-life, but that doesn’t mean I want to get there any sooner than need be. So, for now, death is still sad. But I think it is time to move on. Ok, day 1, the shock. I get it, lots of news. Day 2, details emerge, some stories abound. Day 3, the family speaks. I remember when my father died, also at 50 years of age, I couldn’t… Read More »

I simply must get political with you for one minute. Sure, Obama’s in (yay) and Republicans are dwindling like ad revenues from glossy magazines (boo), but something extremely odd happened yesterday in the state of New York and I am not sure what to do about this. For sure I need to share my histrionics. In a horrendous twist of fate, two Senate Democrats in New York state have crossed the aisle to become (shudder at the thought) REPUBLICANS! This is as bad, worse, than Darth Vader crossing over to the Dark Side. This is like the Evil Empire Strikes… Read More »

Watching Prince Harry gallivant around New York City smiling, shaking hands, planting trees, honoring the fallen at the World Trade Center had such an unexpected impact on me. Granted, he is beyond adorable…but not only because of that. There was something magical about him. I was deeply effected by Princess Diana’s death and seeing him being so magnanimous touched me in a gentle, yet profound way, as did the circumstances around her untimely, unnecessary death. Boy, would she be proud. Then I got to thinking about who do we in America have that exudes that royal air. Since our Kennedy-Camelot… Read More »

Here’s what I love about Mel Gibson, and any other self-righteous celebrity ass like Anita Bryant, Ted Haggard, Jim Bakker, or many Republicans currently in office like Sarah Palin: They know that “the Lord giveth and then taketh away”. SPECIAL NOTE: Did you know that quote comes from what is called the Ejaculatory Prayer? Get where I’m going here? When celebrities lives get all convoluted because of their desperate need to be seen and heard, coupled with their pathetic attempt to spread Godliness like venereal disease, is when they get a good dose of God for themselves. And not in… Read More »