Republicans Take The NY Senate Majority…Help, I’m Not A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!

Now I've seen everything. Republicans on the rebound? Already? Evil lurks.

Now I've seen everything. Republicans on the rebound? Already? Evil lurks.

I simply must get political with you for one minute. Sure, Obama’s in (yay) and Republicans are dwindling like ad revenues from glossy magazines (boo), but something extremely odd happened yesterday in the state of New York and I am not sure what to do about this. For sure I need to share my histrionics. In a horrendous twist of fate, two Senate Democrats in New York state have crossed the aisle to become (shudder at the thought) REPUBLICANS! This is as bad, worse, than Darth Vader crossing over to the Dark Side. This is like the Evil Empire Strikes Back. And just who is our Princess Leia? Kirstin Gillibrand? Yikes, she’s like the Wicked Witch of the West and has no power here. This move gives Republicans the majority in the New York State Senate? Hillary! Help! Quit lolly gagging in the Middle East, Asia and Haiti and get your pant-suited ass back to New York. This would have never happened had she remained, protecting us from the Republican boogie men. Now I am really fatootzed (Yiddish for confused) and farklempt (Yiddish for choked with emotion). There goes tenants rights, strengthened abortion rights and toodles to same-sex marriage.

It’s like I am living in Bizarro World, like that Seinfeld episode. I mean…what?!? Republicans gaining ground? Already? The Bush Doctrine isn’t even cold in the grave yet. What else is going to happen in this new world?

  • Jon and Kate walking the red carpet at the Oscars?
  • Oprah slimming down to a size seven?
  • Jennifer Aniston finding a second husband?
  • Sarah Palin featured on a PETA ad campaign?
  • A woman President?
The newly annointed Republican (deer) caught in a headlight.

The newly annointed Republican (deer) caught in a headlight.

Naturally, I dug into the past of these two shysters and came up with some dish that is typical to Republicans, so it all came clear as to their change of heart. Let’s start with crook extraordinaire, Pedro Esparda Jr.

  • There are 21 outstanding judgments against his campaign organization and six against him for not filing campaign records.
  • In 2005, three employees of a Bronx health care company he runs pleaded guilty to diverting $30,000 from AIDS treatment programs to one of his campaigns.
  • And Espada is being sued for allegedly trashing a health clinic when he moved out, owing $155,574 in back rent.
  • Esparda represents the Bronx, but lives in a million dollar home in lovely Westchester and pretends to live in his district, keeping a faux pad. When a CBS camera caught him at his game and zoomed in for a closeup, Espada held an infant in front of his face as a shield.
This is a Republican in their natural habitat.

This is a Republican in their natural habitat.

Next up is scammer Hiram Monserrate.

  • On March 23, 2009, a grand jury in Queens handed up a felony assault indictment against him, charging that he stabbed his girlfriend last December with a drinking glass, leaving a gash that required 20 stitches to close.
  • After that bit of info…I stopped searching for more as this act deserves the maximum penalty of being a Republican. Karmically speaking, he will get his just desserts.
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