“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Allow me to take this day of rest…the Sabbath of the Summer….Labor Day…to share with you some well wishes and reflection of the summer we just had. First let’s review the origins of Labor Day, which somehow got lost in the sauce of barbecues, picnics and final summer blow-out parties. The first Labor Day was celebrated in 1882 in New York City, was started by a carpenters union to honor those who bust their ass. In 1894, President Grover Cleveland rushed legislation through Congress to make Labor Day a national holiday in an attempt to boost his popularity as it… Read More »

Now that’s a coupling made in heaven. One desperate, unwed, teen mother, Bristol Palin, who uses the media to compete with her skanky ex-baby daddy, Levi Johnston, coupled with The Situation, a Staten Island goombah who is the most talked about character second to Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore. Coupling? Yes…because they will both be on Dancing With The Stars. Well, they won’t be dancing with each other…but trust me…we will see plenty of paparazzi shots of those two leaving the DWTS studio. So, what ever happened to Bristol Palin’s public relations business? Guess she decided to become her own… Read More »

UPDATE FROM YESTERDAY’S UPDATE: Triple Oy! President Obama is (kind of) back peddling from his statement in support of the mosque at Ground Zero. I have a feeling that the mosque will not end up at that location after all. This has turned into a national obsession, has opened Padora’s Box of Racism, and has shed the light on how gross we really are as a nation when our pockets are not full. And of course, Gross Baboon extraordinaire, Sarah Palin is all over this like white on rice. She took to Twittering and Facebooking that statement, “We all know… Read More »

There’s something fishy going on here. My guess is that the unexpected news of the pending nuptials between Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston is really just a ruse and not even true. The whole story is a publicity scam generated out of Sarah Palin‘s office. Well, seeing that her publicist is Bristol Palin, BSMP, LLC, the idea was to show the world just how forgiving and generous Sarah Palin is. And given the sensitive, personal nature of this matter, Sarah will come off as a magnanimous force of nature, hence a great candidate for the Presidency in 2012. Here’s how… Read More »

Not that I didn’t predict this, but Mel Gibson has put the final nail in his own coffin…and all I can say is, “Toodles, you psychotic nut bag”. Listening to the chilling tape of Mel ranting to the mother of his newest baby, whom he has recently clocked in the jaw, I agree with Oksana Grigorieva when she says to him that he needs medication. However, the only the medication I would prescribe to that anti-semite is arsenic…to put him out of his misery once and for all. The pity here is that Hollywood has continued to go back to… Read More »

Would everybody just get over themselves about LeBron James‘ choice to move out of Cleveland and down to Miami? The reaction to his signing up with the Miami Heat and to live his life in the best way he seems fit is ridiculously over-the-top. New Yorkers are taking it as a personal snub. And the people in Cleveland are burning jerseys with his name on them. Relax. The guy has the world by the balls and his balls want to live in warm weather with a chance at winning championships. Seriously, who crowned anybody the ruler of his universe? The… Read More »

Poor Newsweek. It used to be so important. There were years when getting on the cover of Time and Newsweek were the be-all-and-end-all. But no more. Time now diffused that by putting a bunch of people on their recent 100 Most Powerful Issue and Newsweek, well we all know how that is bleeding at the seems, so who cares about being on that rag. Proof positive, the next issue features Sarah Palin (OK, so I tried to not discuss Sarah…but…) on the cover, showing how desperate they are to hold onto some kind of readership. Even if it is a… Read More »

Last Laugh? or Last Straw? It has been reported that Elton John serenaded known Oxycontin addict Rush Limbaugh at the marriage to his fourth wife, Kathryn Rogers, at their home in Florida. Why, you may ask, would Elton John be caught dead or alive under the same roof with the anti-gay, anti-everything, Tea Bagger, shock jock? Once you know that Elton was paid $1,000,000 dollars for the gig, then it all seems feasible. I am, however, giving Elton the benefit of the doubt and saying that the million dollars fee is going straight into the Elton John AIDS Fund, making… Read More »

I never really read them, but today I was drawn to the Vows section of The New York Times Style as the main picture is a couple standing in from of the Statue of Liberty. At second glance, I saw that the couple standing in front of the Statue of Liberty was interracial. Boy, what a slap in the face to Tea Baggers everywhere. Naturally I clicked in for more details. Besides this wonderfully diverse storyline, each of the couples featured this week are entirely nontraditional. Kudos to The Times Style for making a statement in their otherwise traditional Muffy… Read More »

Now that David Patterson has officially backed out of the race, look who’s planning to take a stab as Governator for the State of New York? Remember the Elliot Spitzer, Client 9, Ashley Dupre saga? Yes, that old, tired story. Well, the madame in that trinella, Kristin Davis, no, not the Kristin Davis from Sex and the City, but the one pictured above is ready to take her stand. Davis was the only one in that case that went to the slammer for her dirty dealings. I am sure while Kristin stewed in prison, she hatched this riveting plan to… Read More »