“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

FINALLY, Gloria Allred will get her day in Lindsay Lohan court. After all the skanks Gloria has represented in the name of truth, justice and the American way, she was NEVER called into any of Lindsay’s many kerfuffles. (I love that word.) But now, as Lohan gets arrested for the umpteenth time and hauled into the precinct, a place she can soon call her home again, Gloria is taking the opposing side and representing that hag in question, Florida psychic, Tiffany Mitchell. FROM MARCH 18, 2011 You’ve got to love Gloria Allred. She is the omnipresent voice of reason, or… Read More »

Attention: Tiger Woods’ band of bosomy broads: Madame Allred is going to do you proud as she takes on the case of Natalie Khawan, the twin hooker, I mean sister, of Jill Kelley who is embroiled in this Petraeus Scandal.… Read More »

Finally Gloria “Madame” Allred can sleep soundly. After two hundred years of taking on the most high-profile-possible sensational cases to get maximum airtime, comes word that Allred has landed her own Judge Judy type show this fall. We The People With Gloria Allred will probably host her ex-clients, you know, those many hookers with a wallet of gold from cases past. Hopefully, she will have the reunion of all 13 Tiger Woods‘ skanks. Rachel Uchitel, get out your Jimmy Choos.… Read More »

Gloria Allred, freedom fighter for all the single ladies, all the single ladies, has done it again. She was the lawyer on the case of real estate/actress Jodie Fisher, who was entangled with Mark Hurd, CEO of HP, the world’s largest tech conglomerate. Hurd resigned abruptly on Friday as a result of this case after paying off Little Miss Muffet, who in turn will cough up like 50% of her winnings to Madam Allred. I could just hear how that negotiation went down. INT. MARK HURD’S OFFICE – AFTERNOON ALLRED: OK, Markie Mark, let’s cut to the chase. What ya’… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpLX67_iSt4 Not that I am shocked, but as usual, I am right. Gloria Allred has just been hired by Debrahlee “The Bombshell” Lorenzana, which is hilarious at best. Yesterday, Andrea Peyser from the New York Post wrote a really snide piece on The Bombshell, which caused her to get her knickers in a twist and reach out to the big guns herself, Madam Gloria Allred, to help scare up some serious dough for the Money Honey from Citibank. In case you missed it, here’s what I wrote on June 4: Have you been following this story in the news about… Read More »

So now we should be envisioning the topless photo of some codger or the sneaking around between jogging and taking the next hill in Kabul? How do these people do all this catting around while doing important shit? How does one run the greatest military might or better yet, the sneakiest organization on Earth, then proceed to get caught with your pants down…LITERALLY!… Read More »

UPDATE: The Wicked Witch of the Mid-Atlantic States, Christine O’Donnell has been boo-hooing about Piers Morgan’s line of questioning on the morning chat shows. She has actually accused Piers of sexual harassment. The troublemaker and “writer” of Troublemaker was appalled and felt “creepy” when all Piers wanted to talk about were the many stupid, idiotic, bubble-headed things that she has blathered about in her desperate attempts to become a media personality. He asked her about masturbation—a topic she is clearly well-versed in—and her stance on same-sex marriage. I have come to love the expression, “You cannot rape the willing.” I’d like… Read More »

Now that Anthony Weiner has resigned and will soon vanish from the headlines, as the paparazzi and all the haters melt into the sunset leaving him and Huma alone to redefine their relationship, should Weiner still attend Horndogs Anonymous? Let’s face it, there is a 12 Step Program for every possible ailment, from Narcotics, Marijuana, Food, Sexual Compulsives, you name it. See the A-List below from Wikipedia. For some reason, however, Horndogs Anonymous was not included onto their list, probably because there are so few members. I started HA around the time of the Tiger Woods Skank-a-thon, making Tiger the… Read More »

A while back I wrote a piece about Mistresses Anonymous, the organization started by Sarah Symonds of the Gordon Ramsey indiscretion. Seems like all the women in the boat of having had an affair with a celebrity married man, come out swinging vis-a-vis the media. At least Sarah chose to use her position for good by starting Mistresses Anonymous, clearly an honorable thing to do. She has also become the go-to bloviator for every current infidelity plaguing our airwaves from Tiger Woods to Jesse James. While Sarah is out stumping for the Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullocks and Elizabeth Edwards of… Read More »

Remember that sultry sweetheart from Tiger Woods‘ band of happy hookers, Rachel Uchitel? Well, turns out that there is life after scandal for this lip-locking, lip-enhanced, ex-doormat, I mean doorman from the Meatpacking District hot spots. Rachel, you may recall, was the only hooker that received an undisclosed several million dollars in exchange for keeping her trap shut, thanks to Madame Gloria Allred, her attorney mouthpiece. Anyhoo, Rachel having survived Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, is launching her next business venture as a private eye. Yes, just when you are ready to have someone followed and investigate their dirty dealings, you can… Read More »