“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Ah, the allure of fame. Fortune tends to follow suit…unless you are Nick Lachey or Jon Gosselin. But, those are the exceptions to the rule. Back to fame. “Celebrity is obscurity waiting to happen,” says Carrie Fisher. And true dat. So who makes the list this week? Could it be anyone from the cast of Ugly Betty? That would be a yes. There is also Lordana Jolie, winner, Gross Baboon of the Year. Or perhaps it is Mel B…AGAIN…since I put her on the original Last Five Minutes of Fame List when I launched this category…fyi.… Read More »

As we close out the year and begin anew, let’s see who has what it takes to keep their puss in the light of media glare and what nudniks gets cast aside like a pair of old shoes. It’s a tough business, this business of show, and you have to be cunning, baffling and powerful…oh, that’s alcohol, but still applicable here. Who doesn’t benefit from a booze addled night coupled with a few Hooter-types? Can you say Tiger Woods thirteen times fast? Anyhoo, here to kick-off 2010, is the first installment of Last Five Minutes of Fame.… Read More »

Awww. The poor little babies (a.k.a tragic media whores) that think they are all that and a bag of chips by virtue of their being tracked by the tabloid news. You have to love these people for they know not who they are. They only know who they think they are. Then we also have the people who’s media-driven projects that got all sorts of hype but alas, did not live up to the expectations. Cheer up because you have been graced with the honor of being on the I MEAN…WHAT?!? LAST FIVE MINUTES OF FAME LIST. It’s a great… Read More »

Here we have another edition of Last Five Minutes of Fame. This is an odd week because some of the people on this list are the current obsession of the media. Maybe it is wishful thinking. But I am testing my witching powers to see if by virtue of putting them on the list, if that has an impact on what we will see in the press going forward. Which is such a sad state of media affairs. I heard that Access Hollywood told a publicist that they only way they will cover an event if Jon Gosselin attends. Like… Read More »

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the 2nd edition of Last Five Minutes Of Fame ®, the new weekly installment of people that truly belong on this list. With a nod to Andy Warhol, being on “the list” puts members of this most exclusive club in the center of the media glare…kind of like a deer in the headlights just before…KABOOM. One can’t help feeling sorry for them since they mean so well, not as in well-meaning, rather, mean so well to be famous, not matter what, at any cost, uber alles. The great thing about the Last Five Minutes… Read More »

“Celebrity is obscurity waiting to happen,” says Carrie Fisher in her one-woman show Wishful Drinking, now on Broadway. And truer words have ne’er been spoken. She should know. When Andy Warhol said, “In the future everyone would be famous for fifteen minutes,” he was the Nostradamus of his day. Last Five Minutes Of Fame is a new weekly column for I MEAN..WHAT?!? that will highlight the plethora of people that fall into this category. Either their celebrity is waning, has waned, should wane, will wane or something therein. Surely this column will be celebrity publicists’ worst nightmare…but hey…no one tells… Read More »

After what was surely the greatest media story on Earth, second to the death of Michael Jackson, The Tiger Woods Affair…rather….affairs, took an unexpected turn when Elin, the long suffering golf club aficionado, reunited with her overly poontanged husband, Tiger. In the midst of that media flurry, when the public was introduced to 13 of the skankiest bitches on the planet, Elin hired an attorney and the prospect of 350 million dollars was surly the best reason to leave her philandering, sex addict of a husband for Sweden’s lake shores. But, the holidays came and went and Elin must have… Read More »

Here’s proof that all you need is some dough in order to get a star of the Hollywood Walk of Fame. What’s next? Grauman’s Chinese Theater letting Kim Kardashian plant her tootsies in their precious cement? Call me old fashioned, but when I think of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I think of Greta Garbo, Jean Harlow, Clark Gable and Fred Astaire…to name a few. Not Howie Mandel, or P Diddy, or does it say Sean Combs…whatever, Buzz Aldrin (really? why, cause he lives in LA?), or Ryan Seacrest. Can we call that a stretch…please? It all proves my point… Read More »

The hysteria around the Netflix show “Tiger King” has been very eyeopening. What is it about this low-rent animal abuser has Jared Leto, Cardi B, and the many other celebrities peacocking their obsessions with his unforgivable shenanigans? … Read More »

There is no reason to think that Nobel prize-winning author Gabriel García Márquez “Love in the Time of Cholera” and my desperate attempt at writing a book “Last Five Minutes of Fame” should be uttered in the same breath for literary purposes. But then again, Donald Trump shouldn’t be President of the United States, so fuck it…here goes.… Read More »