“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

FINALLY, Gloria Allred will get her day in Lindsay Lohan court. After all the skanks Gloria has represented in the name of truth, justice and the American way, she was NEVER called into any of Lindsay’s many kerfuffles. (I love that word.) But now, as Lohan gets arrested for the umpteenth time and hauled into the precinct, a place she can soon call her home again, Gloria is taking the opposing side and representing that hag in question, Florida psychic, Tiffany Mitchell. FROM MARCH 18, 2011 You’ve got to love Gloria Allred. She is the omnipresent voice of reason, or… Read More »

Attention: Tiger Woods’ band of bosomy broads: Madame Allred is going to do you proud as she takes on the case of Natalie Khawan, the twin hooker, I mean sister, of Jill Kelley who is embroiled in this Petraeus Scandal.… Read More »

Finally Gloria “Madame” Allred can sleep soundly. After two hundred years of taking on the most high-profile-possible sensational cases to get maximum airtime, comes word that Allred has landed her own Judge Judy type show this fall. We The People With Gloria Allred will probably host her ex-clients, you know, those many hookers with a wallet of gold from cases past. Hopefully, she will have the reunion of all 13 Tiger Woods‘ skanks. Rachel Uchitel, get out your Jimmy Choos.… Read More »

UPDATE: The Wicked Witch of the Mid-Atlantic States, Christine O’Donnell has been boo-hooing about Piers Morgan’s line of questioning on the morning chat shows. She has actually accused Piers of sexual harassment. The troublemaker and “writer” of Troublemaker was appalled and felt “creepy” when all Piers wanted to talk about were the many stupid, idiotic, bubble-headed things that she has blathered about in her desperate attempts to become a media personality. He asked her about masturbation—a topic she is clearly well-versed in—and her stance on same-sex marriage. I have come to love the expression, “You cannot rape the willing.” I’d like… Read More »

Remember that sultry sweetheart from Tiger Woods‘ band of happy hookers, Rachel Uchitel? Well, turns out that there is life after scandal for this lip-locking, lip-enhanced, ex-doormat, I mean doorman from the Meatpacking District hot spots. Rachel, you may recall, was the only hooker that received an undisclosed several million dollars in exchange for keeping her trap shut, thanks to Madame Gloria Allred, her attorney mouthpiece. Anyhoo, Rachel having survived Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, is launching her next business venture as a private eye. Yes, just when you are ready to have someone followed and investigate their dirty dealings, you can… Read More »