Dancing With Has-Beens…

Oy...is this what's next?

So ABC-TV casting executives are wracking out their brains as to who they can cast for the next season of Dancing With Has-Beens…I mean…Dancing With The Stars. They are fatootzed as to how to top the Bristol Palin coup d’états. Word is that DWTS was originally after Todd Palin for this past season and that Sarah Palin, in her unyielding control freak way, offered up Bristol Palin as a peace offering with the intention to bring grace back to the out of wedlock teenage mom. Let’s face it, Bristol, left to her own devices would just as quickly cast herself on that MTV Sixteen and Pregnant reality show.

So who would be a good topper to Bristol? You know that David Hasselhoff‘s (The Hoff) daughter, Hayley will be cast…but she will NOT cause as much of a stir and the Republican Party will not obsessively vote for her like they did Bristol. So who else? Naturally ABC is running to their piggy bank to see if they can scrape up enough dough to entice Kim Kardashian…but…hopefully she will have enough sense to pass on this. Though I bet her mother, Kris, is going to offer herself up. Again, she ain’t no Bristol…and will provide no Republican sweeps. Susan Boyle might be a good one…but is so koo-koo that she would be more trouble than its worth. I guess, they should start pawing through the American Idol alum because they could surely use a boost and Lord knows their middle American fans have nothing else to do but eat and call 800 numbers incessantly. So we are talking Ruben Studdard, or Clay Aiken.

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7 Responses to “Dancing With Has-Beens…”

  1. York Shire says:

    Hey Abe, saw your blog at HuffPo and followed the bread crumbs. Now I see there is some subtle differences in your blog here and your blog there. Here you refer to Clay Aiken as "the gaykin Clay Aiken" but that seems to be missing at HuffPo. Being a tad more careful with your audience over there, eh?

    Just a quick question. I notice in perusing your site that you were invited to join a committee to "Stomp Out Bullying". Wonderful cause and I applaud each and every effort to affect change for those suffering at the hands of idiots who bully. Now the question is were you offered the post before or after you decided to be a bully yourself? Of course, maybe you don't see calling another "gaykin" as all that bad. Maybe you don't think using pejoratives to describe another human being is bullying. Each to his own, huh? I GET having a bit of fun at the expense of celebrities. I really do. But some gentle mocking is far different than using terms meant to belittle and disparage. I certainly hope not all your fellow committee members feel and act the same as you do because in the eyes of many what you have done definitely comes under the umbrella of bullying. It could hurt your cred and dilute an otherwise worthwhile message.

    Did you know that Clay Aiken is working with GLSEN in their "Safe Place" campaign to effect changes in schools and stop bullying" Did you know he recently addressed congress urging them to enact laws that will make the school environment a safer place by showing the bullies there will be a price to pay for their actions? Do you watch Joy Behar, Abe? Did you know he did a segment on her show about the recent spate of suicides directly attributed to bullying. Did you know he is involved with and has recorded a message for the “Give A Damn” campaign which addresses many issues affecting the gay and lesbian community? Bullying being one of them. Did you know Clay Aiken was no stranger to bullying growing up? He's no stranger to it now. But you know THAT already, don’t you?

    Abe, Clay may not be able to show you how to dance but, I suspect, he could teach you a thing or two about class and walking the walk. Are you familiar with the phrase, “Lead by example”, Abe? Hypocrite is such an ugly word. Why is it running through my head right now?

    • Abe Gurko says:

      Hi York Shire,
      Thank you for the info on Clay. Are you one of those Clay mates or whatever the nickname was for his loyal fans? I do hope so. Look, far be it from me to be a total prick or bully as you say…so i revised the text and dropped the gay reference. You see…you can change the world…one word at a time. Happy Holidays.

  2. York Shire says:

    Good edit, Abe!

  3. York Shire says:

    And thank you!

  4. David OZ says:

    Poor Ruben. He can't even be insulted with his name spelled right.

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