The Coca-Cola Red Carpet What?!?

Far be it from me to not appreciate a good marketing opportunity, but a blatantly gross one is surely worth mentioning, if not brech-ing from. Last night at the American Music Awards, a.k.a. the sell-out awards of the century, Coca-Cola hosted some kind of area that celebs went to in order for Coca-Cola to shnorr up a few photo ops. Naturally, since Pepsi has so effectively aligned themselves with the music industry over the past couple of decades (Michael Jackson, Britney, Mariah, etc.) Coke needed to think fast on garnering some of that limelight, without actually pushing what the music industry really wants…which is coke. Subliminal messaging run a muck. Coke = coke. Wink, wink. And if Coke was really hell bent on stealing the thunder effectively, they would slip each of the talent that came by a little bottle cap shaped coke holder, complete with straw. Let me share with you some of the images from the Coke lounge. This marketing ploy is almost, if not grosser than the Coca-Cola green room and judges table on American Idol, the Mecca of overzealous cross-promotional opportunity cluster-fuck.

Michael Jackosn, back from the grave, for a little marketing opportunity with the competition that bundt his hair off. Pay back is a bitch.

Michael Jackson, back from the grave, for a little marketing payback since Pepsi burned his hair off. Payback is a bitch.

They tried luring Rihanna into their clutches, but from the looks of it, she ran away because this is the only shot of her from their image bank. Yes, Coca-Cola, you get Rihanna's ass.

They tried luring Rihanna into their clutches, but from the looks of it, she ran away because this is the only shot of her from the image bank. Yes, Coca-Cola, you get Rihanna's ass.

Meanwhile, let me just interject that Rihanna looked fierce in this number. She had to knock it out of the park on the red carpet, seeing that the last awards show she was scheduled to attend, the only thing knocked out of the park…was her.

Meanwhile, let me just interject that Rihanna looked fierce in this number. She had to knock it out of the park on the red carpet, seeing that the last awards show she was scheduled to attend, the only thing knocked out of the park…was her.

Yes, of course the Queen of All Media was in tow, no one likes a cross-promo (cross dressing promo included) beter than he. But I ma just agig at the fact that Taryn Southern, she was was in the top 50 of season three American Idol, gets the hosting spot.

Yes, of course the Queen of All Media was in tow, no one likes a cross-promo (cross dressing promo included) better than he. But I am just agog at the fact that Taryn Southern, she who was in the top 50 of season three American Idol, gets the hosting spot. Is that not proof enough of how vomitous a spot this really was?

La Coacha and Perez...awww...don't they make a cute couple?

La Coacha and Perez...awww...don't they make a cute couple?

This chick showed up on the red caroet with a bolt of fabric. Of course Coca-Cola wants her.

This chick showed up on the red carpet with a bolt of fabric. Of course Coca-Cola wanted her.

This is Blake Lewis, who needs anything BUT a Coca-Cola.

This is Blake Lewis, who needs anything BUT a Coca-Cola.

How about we officially change his name from Bobby Trendy to Bobby Ridiculous. Can I see a show of hands?

How about we officially change his name from Bobby Trendy to Bobby Completely Ridiculous. Can I see a show of hands?

I am sure Carrie Underwood was partched, grabbed a water and ran.

I am sure Carrie Underwood was parched, grabbed a water and ran.

Other stars on the Coca=COla thing were Andrew Dipalma, number 29,365 on IMDB starmeter.

Other stars on the Coca-Cola thing were Andrew DiPalma, #29,365 on IMDB STARmeter.

And David Lehre, #36,071

And David Lehre, #36,071, posing with the Coke whores.

6 Responses to “The Coca-Cola Red Carpet What?!?”

  1. Dynelle says:

    LMAO at "Michael Jackson, back from the grave, for a little marketing payback since Pepsi burned his hair off. Payback is a bitch" – Hilarious!!

  2. ericka says:

    unfortunately, i am quite biased, as i would rather drink toilet water than Pepsi. Coke is KING in my house. if you want to come in, throw your Pepsi out at the door. :P

    but i agree. who are these marketing people???? i want to be a fly on the wall in meetings where they come up with this crap. some old guy in a suit, trying to be hip. "This is what America wants to see!!!!"

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