Six days? Six days? Come on. That is the most presumptuous, over-the-top, full-of-themselves wedding plan on Earth. Look, I love weddings. They are always a blast. And no doubt there was much fun and games at the recent nuptials of Madame Katy Perry and Sir Royal Hiney Russell Brand. But really…six days? That sounds painful. Granted, if you are schlepping your family and friends to India, you have to do something special since they are light years away from home. They better have provided private tours of the Taj Mahal…at least. But seeing what egomaniacs these two lovebirds are, it must have been day after day of champagne toasts and cute stories of how they met. Cringing at the thought. “And then there was that time when Russy smacked the paparazzi, just for little ol’ me.” Ugh. If I were in their inner circle, I would be pissed to have to turn over so many days just to ogle and worship at the Temple of These Two.
Rihanna had the good sense to bag them, concocting some excuse that she had to go into the studio to record…anything. Like Rihanna couldn’t reschedule a record session with herself? Of course she could. But Rihanna is smart as a whip. Clearly she would have sooner cut her eyes out than have to do a marathon Katy-Russell suck up. I mean…the amount of media whoring that they do is unconscionable. The thought of having to toast them for six full days is death defying. Besides, how phony can you be? The happy couple are so desperate for attention that a six day wedding is the perfect size considering the size of their combined egos.