“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

No, I am not talking about the new film Snow White and The Huntsman. I rather enjoyed the stunning, thirty-minute-too-long film but we have other grosser baboons to fry today.

This has been a busy week for the Gross Baboon of the Year Award office. There are more nominees crawling out of the woodwork vying for the top spot to the point where I am beginning to think that this award might become as coveted as an Oscar or Golden Globe. Surely the friggen Razzie Award is toast. The Gross Baboon Award encompasses all areas of culture including entertainment, politics, reality stars and a new twist… cannibals.

Yesterday, John Edwards, the man who once sported $400 haircuts proved to Amercia (not a typo…ask Mitt Romney) what a gross baboon he really always was and still is to this day. Let me start by saying that we should have never known about those $400 haircuts. Mostly because they looked like Supercuts and now that he admits to getting his hair cut at Supercuts, this just shows what a capital douche he always was because if a $400 haircut looks like a Supercut, then stop getting the $400 haircut just because you can and worse, because some old lady is stuffing cash in your pockets like you are some kind of friggen Yuppie stripper. As the photo caption says, John Edwards is the Max Bialystock of politics. He took from little old ladies and rather than investing in the future of America, enhanced his personal lifestyle…at the expense of the amazing Elizabeth Edwards and his family. And listening to John Edwards’ slimy comments at the podium in front of the courthouse after he was exonerated was truly the first official acceptance speech by a winner of Gross Baboon of the Year Award. So that was fantastic.

John Edwards and Mitt Romney are classic used car salespeople in politics and I cringe whenever I see them because they ooze lies. I never liked John, and as always, I WAS RIGHT! But I digress.

Now, as you all know, I have my druthers with Kim Kardashian but I do not despise her unlike what seems to be the public. The New York Post has a quiz of the ten most hated people in America. Kim was in the second spot after Casey Anthony. I beg to differ. Just because Kim is an anomaly does not put her at public enemy number two. Even after the gross wedding scam. Yes, it made her beyond annoying but to put Kim and John Edwards on the same list is not right.