“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

 CHAPTER 6 – PART 1  THE FITNESS GURU? Losing a human being can be an exhilarating experience. Not an actual person such as a lover, friend or family member; that tends to be a sad affair, though not always. Losing enough excess fat that amounts to the weight of an entire human being, now that’s exhilarating. Such a loss—a person’s worth of blubber—referenced here, was something Abe Gurko was fortunate enough to experience. He attributed the unwanted amount of fat that he’d gained throughout his childhood to having been stuffed to the gills by an overly Jewish mother who survived… Read More »

It was “the only” time, and for sure, the best years of my life. Though it’s still not clear when or how, but at some point, I began running with the Beautiful People (BPs). … Read More »

YOU KNOW YOU’RE GAY WHEN…
You know what color chartreuse is.
You have used chartreuse in a sentence.
You wear chartreuse. … Read More »

I thought back to the summer when I was eleven years old, after my father had discovered making money and had moved us “on up” from the dregs of Weehawken, New Jersey, situated on the ass end of the Lincoln Tunnel to the posh suburb, Englewood Cliffs just north of the George Washington Bridge. … Read More »

Our family residence was a low-income nest nestled on a non-tree-lined street amongst a glut of row houses. Think of the East End of London without the cache of, well, London.… Read More »

To what lengths does one have to go in order to achieve fame? It wasn’t until years later that by simply sucking on someone’s cock (Monica Lewinsky and Kim Kardashian) that the distance one had to go to achieve fame was not that far at all. The only distance they had to go…was down.… Read More »

There is no reason to think that Nobel prize-winning author Gabriel García Márquez “Love in the Time of Cholera” and my desperate attempt at writing a book “Last Five Minutes of Fame” should be uttered in the same breath for literary purposes. But then again, Donald Trump shouldn’t be President of the United States, so fuck it…here goes.… Read More »

Mr. Browne’s collections featuring outfits so “shockingly wrong” that a new category of mens clothing was born…The Manzie. But all that aside, I have come to terms to say that I Love Thom Browne!… Read More »

There is a saying in Hollywood that if you have a great script and throw it out of your car window onto the 405 Freeway, that it will still end up getting made. That from the head of Paramount Studios who would know, since she used to have the 405 scoured for great scripts by her lackies, I mean her executives. One cannot properly exist in Los Angeles without being able to say, “I am writing a screenplay”. It is practically illegal not to at least be able to say that you and a friend are “collaborating on a project”,… Read More »

Here’s the thing about going through your third midlife crisis: If you are going to do it, do it while living at the home of Carrie Fisher. On the eve of my scheduled return from Los Angeles to New York—which I had escaped in January in order to: A) Completely avoid the winter weather, and B) Deal with Midlife Crisis #3—I paid a visit to Carrie. As always, I was met with a warm greeting, and we sat on the bed chatting, catching up, and catching fire. The rumors had just begun to swirl about the original Star Wars “Dream… Read More »