“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Now that David Patterson has officially backed out of the race, look who’s planning to take a stab as Governator for the State of New York? Remember the Elliot Spitzer, Client 9, Ashley Dupre saga? Yes, that old, tired story. Well, the madame in that trinella, Kristin Davis, no, not the Kristin Davis from Sex and the City, but the one pictured above is ready to take her stand. Davis was the only one in that case that went to the slammer for her dirty dealings. I am sure while Kristin stewed in prison, she hatched this riveting plan to get back at Spitzer…or The Man. Now a Libertarian, Davis is prepared to take on Andrew Cuomo, and anyone else that has balls as big as hers. Let’s face it, what illicit sex scandal doesn’t garner you a media career?!? (Please click on that link which proves my point.)

Kristin must have been seething on Rikers Island when she read that Ashley Dupre was making the rounds at New York Fashion Week, and then became the Dear Abby of Love for the New York Post. What was she to do to come back fighting for her Last Five Minutes of Fame?!? Well, considering the amount of time she spends on injectibles and other implantings, she plans to use the same care and feeding to fix up the New York State economy. She has hired the veteran Republican lobbyist, Roger Stone, from Richard Nixon’s Committee to Re-elect the President fame, to do all her maneuvering. Stone refers to himself as “a GOP hitman” and has been referred to as, “The most dangerous person in America today…”.  Davis’ press release reads:

“Davis will announce her intention to petition her way onto the ballot and will outline her platform, which includes legalization, regulation and taxation of prostitution and marijuana to generate urgently needed new revenues for New York State and her support for gay marriage.”

Now far be it from me to be a buzz kill. Anyone whose agenda includes sex and drugs is alright by me. But please, leave us gay people out of your publicity scam. The truth is, Davis is petitioning for a new series of porn related production deals rather than seriously trying to calculate how to govern the State of New York. Perhaps Stone will engage the Tea Party…who we can call Tea Baggers here…to rally on her behalf. It makes perfect sense since she wants to overthrow a Democrat. And don’t think Sarah Palin won’t jump on this bandwagon, well, that is if Kristin would pay her $180,000 to speak at the Museum of Sex fundraiser planned for later this year.