“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Let’s face it kids, when I ask: ABE: Who wears a matching red hat with red Prada shoes and elaborate dresses? YOU: Dame Edna? ABE: No. YOU: Any of the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race? ABE: No. Give up? Here’s a hint. He turns a blind eye to child molesters and is the top dog of the Catholic church. YOU: Justin Bieber? ABE: No, you maroon. It’s the Pope, the Holy Pontiff, His Grace in the Glass Menagerie. Nice reputation, Marlene Pope Benedict XVI. I mean…really…would you let this guy, if he was not the Pope, anywhere near your kids?… Read More »

Officially, I am taking this long weekend to sit quietly and contemplate my navel. Having been invited to the beach on Long Island, it seemed like a great idea. Several weeks ago I did a piece listing the 12 reasons why I was not gay anymore, homosexual yes, gay no. Surely there are more reasons that I chose to omit from that list, but now, sitting here at the Bay Cafe in Fire Island Pines, the list grows…by the minute. Let me start by saying that I have not been out here to the Pines in over 20 years. My… Read More »

Policy shmolicy. Who wants to join a group that doesn’t let you be who you are and cultivate the best in you? Gays want to be in the military? For what? The clothes? I am confused. Are you trying to tell me that grunting along some dusty patch of Middle Eastern soil is what you really want to go for? What about shopping on Madison? Or happy hours in Chelsea (NYC). The term “gay” kicked in the 1960’s and since then, the reference to homosexuality has shifted to a light, frothy, sexy lifestyle filled with booze, drugs and dancing. No?… Read More »