“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Not too long ago, I reported on the new fragrance, Lolavie by Jennifer Aniston, The Sweet Smell of Celebrity. Though she surely is not the first, and clearly not the last movie star to multi-task while branding, this disturbing trend has taken another bow with a celebrity men’s fragrance, called The Secret by Antonio Banderas. Gee, I thought The Secret was a spiritual quest for garnering wealth. Perhaps it still is…but in case…just for Antonio…as opposed to the betterment of mankind. Seems like the new scoop is, in order to be famous, you have to be brand-able. Well, I said… Read More »

You know you have hit the big top when a fragrance bears your name, or your pet’s name, or your favorite childhood memory’s name of some such nonsense. You all know my aversion to celebrity fashion designers. Now I am officially adding celebrity schtoonk-meisters to the list of things that make me say fotz or “ewww”. Let me start by mentioning my favorite exception to this parade, none other than Dame Elizabeth Taylor. When Elizabeth created White Diamonds, she was pretty much out of the movie business, still  gorgeous and well…friggen Liz Taylor. Don’t even try to put Sarah Jessica… Read More »

After that final episode of Jersey Shore, watching Snooki dance alone on the boardwalk, having been rejected by that “white guy”, then snooking up to The Situation in the hot tub and totally losing all self-respect, who wouldn’t want to see the Snooks get her day in the sun with a man that is all about her? Well, I am happy to report that she has met a guy, no less a Guido, Emilio Antonio and that she is happy as a pig in shit…or something like that. “He is freaking banging. We’re the sexiest couple I have ever seen… Read More »

Not too long ago I did a piece Fresh Cheeks on cheeks. No, not the cheeks on your butt, there’s always Levi Johnston’s spread in Playgirl for that. I’m much more obsessed with the ones on your face…especially after they have been enhanced. As Christmas is upon us, I wanted to see who’s been naughty or nice…well…who cares about that really, I wanted to see who’s been getting fresh cheeks.… Read More »

What is The I Mean…What?! Clinking Clanking Clattering Collection Of Collagenous Junk News, you ask? What else,  a recap of this week’s “not really” news as told through images. You can also call it, the Hodge Podge Lodge News and for the sake of levity and brevity, the “This Is News News?” So, without any further ado and no particular order of relevance or irrelevance:… Read More »

What do these three have in common you ask? Well, not much, besides the fact that they are in this weekend’s news. And when I say in the news, I say that with maximum sarcasm. Jennifer Aniston was honored by some Women in Film Crystal Award or some such nonsense, because her films are so deep and meaningful. At least the redeeming quality of Jennifer is that she can finally poke fun at herself about the joke that is her love life. In her acceptance speech earlier this week, she said, “I have a strange parallel with movies I was… Read More »