“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Lindsay parties with her bodyguard. So? They must spend enough time together since the media will not leave her alone. – PAGE SIX Underage Bristol Palin out at 1 OAK, a nightclub for virgins. – NY DAILY NEWS Chaz Bono is officially a boy. – TMZ Justin Bieber has lesbian hair. Check out this site: Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. Rachel Uchitel, Gross Baboon nominee, is still in the press for reasons proving her gross babooniness. – D LISTED Click here to follow I MEAN…WHAT?!? on Twitter.… Read More »

While the nation waits with bated breath as the Senate votes on Barack Obama’s Health Care Reform Bill, that lovely specimen of a human, Rachel Uchitel is far more preoccupied with matters of national security…namely herself. Let’s see what one of Tiger Woods‘ silly, sex slaves is busy with today. My source tells me that Rachel is stressed and feels really alone with her millions that known Madam, Gloria Allred, secured for her. Poor baby…money to burn and no where to go but to the press. See the letter below that Madam Allred just sent to Jeff Beacher, who trashed… Read More »

Just watched the press conference with Tiger Woods, looking all pouty and apologetic for have endless amounts of glommy and poontang with a gaggle of hussies. I am not buying any of it. As you all know, golf has never been a big attraction for me, so why would I hang on every word that someone that wears pleated slacks. Anyway, I could only imagine what Rachel Uchitel (Lips McGilicutty) was doing during this press conference. She, who was his weekend sex toy, who reveled in Tiger’s salacious requests for constant sexual favors between golf holes. (Stop) Who wouldn’t want… Read More »

Celebrity / Socialite / Rachel Uchitel? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Check out this birthday invitation for the hooker / hag / collagen-filled / tranny-like thing that Tiger Woods used to date. She calls herself a celebrity / socialite. In what circles? My source told me that Rachel was Tiger’s blow-up doll. She was completely on call every time he got a boner and that he exhausted every one of her orifices. Like a hooker. Once on a trip, she kept calling my friend, between boners, in an attempt to get up for air. But as the story goes his sexual… Read More »

How did The New York Times Style section figure out a way to stretch an article about Justin Bieber as long as it was? The guy is still in diapers for Christ’s sake. Is there really enough depth for such an extensive piece? Oh, right, the Jingle Ball, now there’s a life-altering lesson to share. Needless to say, when I read that his mother was praying that the Jewish hip-hop manager would not be their ticket to fame and fortune, I cringed. But to learn that Justin has a swagger coach…for what…to give his prepubescent genital area some Elvis action…well…I… Read More »

The news has been so uninteresting, especially these days, with the Tiger Woods story monopolizing the media with his bevvy of hookers (I know, they all aren’t, but they are, Blanche) jumping face first in front of any camera that will have them. Who was it that said, “Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a Tiger bye his…well…surely not his toe.” Oh, right, yours truly. I have tried to limit the I Mean…What?!? coverage of The Tiger Woods Saga, reason being…it is boring as hell. How the media has made milk toast into a sex commodity is by far the greatest… Read More »