“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

All I want to know is whether Tom Ford’s intern had the dress dry-cleaned, or wet cleaned, since Anne Hathaway wore it.… Read More »

Q. What is the meaning of hypocrisy? A. The pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude. FACT: You cannot walk around trashing Miley Cyrus for doing a lap dance with an old queen like Adam Shankman and consider the new Miss USA marketing campaign a good idea. FACT: You cannot watch Jersey Shore and think it is hilarious, anxiously waiting Season Two, then judge Miley Cyrus for being too young to be sexy. FACT: You cannot be a self-righteous Tea Bagger (Sarah Palin) with a daughter that just so happens to be a teenage mother out of wedlock.… Read More »

In the Golden Days of Hollywood, no one cared about much besides the stars of stage and screen. Tallulah Bankhead, Bette Davis, Katherine Hepburn, Clark Cable, the list goes on. Seems like we have graduated (or what’s the opposite of that?) to be far more concerned with the whereabouts and goings on of the lowest of lowbrows of our society. The Nobody Newzzz is back and we have plenty to crow about. Crow as in old crow because the top story this week is about the Salahis. You will remember Michaele and Tartiq Salahi, that couple of Gross Baboons who… Read More »

Sung to the tune of Laverne & Shirley One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Shapiro, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated. She’s gonna do it. Give her any chance, she’ll take it. Give her any rule, she’ll break it. She’s gonna make her dreams come true. Doin’ it her way. Will she go, won’t she go. I have a headache. Any way you slice it, the media is hanging on Lindsay Lohan‘s every move anxiously awaiting for her to speak. And just who she will she be spilling her guts to, besides her Twitter followers? Surely she has locked in some… Read More »

This is the least interesting update on the planet Earth. Earlier I wrote about the pending homosexual announcement of a major star on the cover of People magazine. Well, TMZ, (Lord knows they are the go-to site for realness) is claiming that they have solved the mystery and the person coming out of the closet is none other than…drum roll please…Chely Wright. Who? Chely Wright. Who? Chely Wright. You are kidding me that someone with such limited national appeal is making this tragic, overblown PR scam. Chely Whatever-Her-Name-Is is a friggen country western singer. Now, if she was coming out… Read More »

TMZ is reporting a sort of Chicken Little prophecy regarding the future of Lindsay Lohan. Her friends are very concerned that Linday’s partying is spiraling out of control and fear for her life. Well, whatever the case, I do hope that is not the case. Then again…who wouldn’t fall flat on their face in those ridiculous heels? Girl…Tory Burch flats for you.… Read More »