“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Congratulations Alicia Keys.  Not only are you multi-talented, beautiful, a mom, a mentor, a philanthropist, a superstar, a wife, a sista soldja, phew, but your campaign to raise One Million Dollars, launched on World AIDS Day to benefit Keep A Child Alive has been achieved. You can now rest easy that you have more than carved your way into heaven. The campaign was based on killing off the digital lives of celebrities such as Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Ryan Seacrest, Justin Timberlake, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, Khloe Kardashian, Lenny Kravitz, Jay Sean, Swizz Beatz, Serena Williams, Elijah Wood, Janelle Monae, Nikki… Read More »

Perez Hilton was busy hawking his one-man, boy band, Travis Garland on American Idol and the end result was…yikes. Perez Hilton had the balls to compare this My Space novice to, “Justin Timberlake…only better.” The performance was sad. Sadder than punch actually. The dancers were fotz…and that girl titillating Travis was so stagey lame that I can not believe that no one stopped that routine before it was too late…as in making it to air. Give me a friggen break Marlene. Stop telling us how horrine Lindsay Lohan is and relax. Speaking of stagey lame, Justin Bieber came out to… Read More »

Awww…how cute. Usher just bought Justin Bieber a Range Rover for his 16th birthday. Tell me, can we expect to see an episode of MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 for this monumental occasion? Yikes. Speaking of yikes…watch this video featuring Cody, the whiny, little tangerine that has Bieber Fever.… Read More »

What do these three have in common you ask? Well, not much, besides the fact that they are in this weekend’s news. And when I say in the news, I say that with maximum sarcasm. Jennifer Aniston was honored by some Women in Film Crystal Award or some such nonsense, because her films are so deep and meaningful. At least the redeeming quality of Jennifer is that she can finally poke fun at herself about the joke that is her love life. In her acceptance speech earlier this week, she said, “I have a strange parallel with movies I was… Read More »