“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

What do Snooki and JWoww have in common with Ashley Dupré? Who is Ashely Dupré you ask? How quickly we forget our hookers with a tongue of gold. Ashley was embroiled in the Eliot Spitzer debacle. After that mess, she had a short-lived career as a columnist for the New York Post, naturally, called Ask Ashley, which dealt with everything you wanted to know about being a hooker but were afraid to ask your mother. That lasted long. So after you get booted from the Post, what’s a hooker to do? Open a lingerie shop, of course, and where better… Read More »

Ya gotta give Ashley Dupre credit for her uncanny ability to reinvent herself over and over again. She’s gone from a Jersey Shore-type girl to Girl’s Gone Wild party gal to hooker. Then she went on to hooker with a master plan to fashionista (vis-a-vis Kelly Cutrone) to Dear John Abby, to desperate for acting reality show career (hence moving to Los Angeles) to her most recent claim of wanting to be a real estate mogul. This girl makes cats seem one dimensional. Anyhoo, imagine the line of guys who will want to be shown an apartment by Ashley. Clearly… Read More »

So, let me get this straight. Jason Wu, designer of the moment, yes the one that made Michelle Obama’s inaugural gown, which I thought made her look pregnant from both sides, actually had Ashley Dupre sit front row at his fashion show on Friday. I mean…whaaaaaaat?!? According to the NY Post, “While everyone was waiting with bated breath to see if First Lady Michelle Obama might show up at Jason Wu’s show, instead it was kicked off by lady of the evening Ashley Dupre.” To quote my friend Carrie Fisher here, “These are the options?” Are you trying to tell me that when… Read More »

1. Ashley Dupree for one. In today’s NY Post she goes on about her new found yoga body and that it has brought her salvation. First of all, just getting into a few positions in spandex similar to the ones you did nude for $$$ does not salvation bring. Oh, and she also copped a new yoga friend: Russell Simmons. “Russel’s become a mentor, and has helped me work through my issues. I feel liberated and honored that people like him support me. I’m starting to feel respected for who I am.” Oh really? Does getting a publicist hasten the… Read More »

So help me if they cast Tom Hanks as General Petraeus, I will scream. Paula Broadwell could be cast by Diane Lane, since she wishes she were her, and Jill Kelley can be played by Kim Kardashian. Well if the illicit sex fits…… Read More »

We knew that Rachel Uchitel would not fade into the woodwork forever after taking the alleged millions of dollars from Tiger Woods in exchange for shutting her uber-collagen enhanced lips about their illicit sexual affair. The good news is, who needed her to tell us anything, my sources told me plenty. In particular, Tiger would demand sex AT LEAST three or four times a day, that she would have to drop what she was doing and run to his side…no questions asked. Clearly, the slogan “Tiger in his tank” has new meaning. Woodsy also preferred a different orifice each time,… Read More »

Do you ever stop to wonder how on Earth all these tacky, low-rent people have managed to claw their way into the media and take up so much of our time these days? Look no further than your mirror. What you will see there is one of the reasons that Gross Baboons have even entered the zeitgeist. It is because of you and me (or is it I) that there is even a need for the Annual Gross Baboon of the Year Award (to be held during the next awards season). We have glorified the lowest common denominator of humans.… Read More »

Michelle Bombshell McGee sobbed an apology to Sandra Bullock on Australia TV. – US MAGAZINE Amy Winehouse’s breasts checked into rehab. – PEOPLE Come on…did you think this would last? Paris Hilton and Duug Reinhardt forever? Fotz. – PAGE SIX Skank of the Year, Ashley Dupre proves my point that illicit sex garners you a media career. – NY DAILY NEWS Now here’s a contest that no one wins…dumbest Twitter followers on Earth. – HUFFINGTON POST… Read More »

Now that David Patterson has officially backed out of the race, look who’s planning to take a stab as Governator for the State of New York? Remember the Elliot Spitzer, Client 9, Ashley Dupre saga? Yes, that old, tired story. Well, the madame in that trinella, Kristin Davis, no, not the Kristin Davis from Sex and the City, but the one pictured above is ready to take her stand. Davis was the only one in that case that went to the slammer for her dirty dealings. I am sure while Kristin stewed in prison, she hatched this riveting plan to… Read More »

It really is a shame that dogs have gotten a bad rap because of the basic human need to name-call. What is more amazing than your dog? Nothing. The expression, “It’s a dog’s life” refers to the easy, pressure-free existence that our pampered dogs live. Laying, stretching, nibbling, laying, stretching, nibbling. They are plenty busy. But then, somewhere along the line, people started referring to other humans as dogs and not in a good way. How did that happen? If I was a dog, a real one, I would be pissed. Women call men dogs for looking at other women,… Read More »