The Paris Couture Shows…What Not To Wear

Jul 7, 2009Breaking Newzzz

I Mean…What?!? presents the Paris Couture Shows. Lord knows I got the Manzie Report down…and two snaps up. However, man does not live by bad men’s fashion alone. Granted, it won’t be as knee-slapping as the Manzie Report due to the nature of this beast. But beasts there are, I can assure you. Now before I show you some highlights or “high”-lights from Alexis Mabille and Stéphane Rolland, I need to say something here. Couture is a unique business that services much of the hype and interest in the fashion industry. The couture customer is not the customer that buys off the rack, Michelle Obama-inspired, trends of the moment stuff. It’s a particular, pampered woman that I, frankly, want to be, when I grow up. They exist in a bubble and live a completely different life than you or me. Whatever the state of our economy, there will always be the 100 or so customers that will seek this stuff out (maybe not Alexis or Stéphane’s crap) but surely they will make appointments to see the collections in the ateliers and turn their nose from hither and to, sipping champagne throughout. All in favor of this lifestyle, say Ay…AY!

Also, in a shout out to style.com, they didn’t even acknowledge these collections. It’s like they say without saying, “Spare me the details”. I, on the other hand, will not spare you or else I have nothing to report on. So here it goes.

Alexis Mabille, would you like consider skipping couture and swing right into pajamas. What is this?

Alexis Mabille, perhaps you should consider skipping couture and swing right into pajamas. What is this?

I would kill to come back to Earth as a couture customer. And when that happens, I wouldn't even put this number on my handmaiden.

I would kill to come back to Earth as a couture customer. And when that happens, I wouldn't even put this number on my handmaiden.

What's with the ill fitting top of this dress. Don't tell me that's intentional.

What's with the ill fitting top of this dress? Don't tell me that's intentional.

What the f*@k.

What the f*@k.

Would someone please tell Alexis to just give it up and try her hand at anything esle.

Would someone please tell Alexis to just give it up and try his/her hand at anything else.

OK...this coplicated peice is just like the one that the designer of The Fashion Show almost got kicked off for. Maybe I should show a collection next season.

OK...this "complicated" number is just like the one that the designer on The Fashion Show almost got kicked off for. Maybe I should show a collection next season.

What, she put this collection together last night?

So, you think he put this collection together last night?

Yes.

Yes, absolutely.

Leave it up to Alexis to come up with a fabric that makes a skinny model look fat. I give up.

Leave it up to Alexis to come up with a fabric that makes a skinny model look fat. I give up.

Manzies to the rescue for this finale. Its' like the The Three Gay Caballeros meets Dracula.

Manzies to the rescue for this finale. It's like the The Three Gay Caballeros, complete with mandals.

Come on. I'll take the stockings, and that's it. What's with the weird should and sleeve shaes. So incongruous.

Come on Stéphane. What's with the weird shoulder and sleeve shapes. So incongruous. I'll take the stockings, and that's it.

Thanks Stephane, for accentuating my ass.

Thanks Stéphane, for accentuating my ass. A Navajo blanket is more flattering.

This cat knows nothing about embracing a woman's body. It's couture Mary, have a freakin' fitting!

This cat knows nothing about embracing a woman's body. It's couture Mary, have a freakin' fitting!

Oh OK. I'll take this dizzying piece in every color.

Oh OK. I'll take this dizzying piece in every color.

Yikes, it's like a deformed Batgirl.

Yikes, it's like a deformed Batgirl.

There is way toomuch going on here for such a small dress. Who is this guy? Bye.

There is way too much going on here for such a small dress. Who is this guy? Bye.

Not quite sure how Rolland can make a skinny girl dressed in blakc...LOOK FAT!

Not quite sure how Rolland can make a skinny girl dressed in black...LOOK FAT!

Oyt vey. I would really like to meet this guys customer, if he has any. A Burka is more flattering than this.

Oy vey. I would really like to meet this guy's customer, if he has any. A Burka is more flattering than this.

I mean...whaaaaaaaaaaat?!?

I mean...whaaaaaaaaaaat?!? Schmateh galore.

I pity the bride...

I pity the bride...

If you love fashion,

2 Responses to “The Paris Couture Shows…What Not To Wear”

  1. Liz says:

    Abe, you comments are spot on! Thanks for posting these ridiculous outtakes. You are hilarious!

  2. la couturier says:

    I seriously love your blog.

    Your comments are so true – just because it's couture hardly means its something worth wearing! And I love that piece on Michelle Obama. I do love her & her style so, but on occasion, she does need a gay (;

    bisous,
    La C.

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