2012: Those Mayans Must Have Read The Tabloids

The Mayans... indeed.


Happy New Year! I am still down in Tulum having Internet issues coupled with a hangover so all I can do is re-post this entry from two years ago about the Mayans and their nonsense about the end of the world. Just so happens that I am in spitting distance of the Mayan Ruins and am going to take this nonsensical conversation up with the Gods directly tomorrow, after I finish nursing this hangover. Meanwhile so much of this bit below still rings true.

From November 2009

Mayan Schmayan. I am beginning to feel like Chicken Little, the prophet of doom. Today, Gail Collins wrote an article in The New York Times on this same subject, which shows that the Mayan Calendar is nothing but a total buzz kill. Let’s clarify first that those Mayans never actually predicted anything. Their calendar just stops on December 23, 2012. Naturally, everyone interprets that as the end of time as we know it. Correction: it is the end of time as the Mayans knew it. And (B) Are there any Mayans left on Earth anyway? Who exactly are we listening to? Those who are extinct?

Speaking of extinct, the Republicans would sure like to see the world end in 2012. It is, after all, the only way they can be guaranteed that Obama will not get another term in the White House. The only viable candidate from that antiquated party is Sarah Palin. I don’t care how many books she sells, she will single-handedly put the final nail in the Republican Party coffin. With this in mind, why else is the movie 2012 topping this week’s box office? Because the Republicans have been flooding the theaters in the hopes of raising the scare quotient, a tactic to make people fear that Barack Obama will cause the end of the world. Have you heard the latest pearls of wisdom from Jon Voight, “Obama is bringing us to chaos and unrest…” Those Republicans are really down with the end of the world thing. It is their way of saying, “I told you so”.

Since starting I Mean…What?!? several months ago, I have warned, “The end of the world is nigh” on several occasions. None of the reasons having anything to do with the increase in hurricanes in North America, the the rising heat of European summers or the melting of the polar ice caps. All my theories can be traced back to the 8th Wonder of the Universe…the tabloid media. Clearly, the Mayans had the foresight to know that the tabloid media, that which just about every media outlet has become, would cause the world as we know it to end. Look at today’s top stories, rather the top stories for the past few weeks.

What is more frightful than this? Levi Johnston and Jon Gosselin will create havoc that Obama couldn't even fathom.

What is more frightful than this? Levi Johnston and Jon Gosselin will create havoc that Obama couldn't even fathom.

Hailey Grossman stands for what is all wrong on Earth.

Hailey Glassman stands for what is all wrong on Earth.

This Octo-freak is scarier than a tidall wave. And beleive me, once that farkakteh relaity show hits, the amount of press attention it will get will be like a tidal wave.

This Octo-freak (Octo-mom) is scarier than a tidal wave. And believe me, once that farkakteh reality show hits, the amount of press attention it will get will feel like a tidal wave hit us.

Tara Redi is posing for Playboy? Like (A) who cares and (B) Levi Johnston in Playgirl is looking like the better option. They are both ridic.

Tara Reid is posing for Playboy? Like (A) who cares and (B) Levi Johnston in Playgirl is looking like the better option and (C) they are both ridic.

4 Responses to “2012: Those Mayans Must Have Read The Tabloids”

  1. ericka says:

    for me, i know the end of the world is coming because the Snuggie has a jingle. and it's been stuck in my head for days.

  2. notrin says:

    hey, Love the Post, I have been following your blog for a while now, and I have to agree with alot of what you have to say. and I thank you for being supportive and willing to take the time to share your opinions.

  3. Good read, really opens your eyes to what could be in store for us in 2012. Thanks.

  4. I do believe all of the ideas you've introduced to your post. They're very convincing and will certainly work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for newbies. Could you please lengthen them a little from next time? Thanks for the post.

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