“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

I’m reading the mixed reviews of last nights Oscars telecast and wondering how on Earth anyone would have said one good thing about the show. The pairing of young Hollywood’s sweethearts was such a mistake to where it reached epic proportions. I cringed through most of broadcast. Anne Hathaway has no gravitas whatsoever while James Franco was smug to the point of irritating. Sure, when Billy Crystal entered the room the audience stood to an ovation, the message being, “Help, please host this show again.” Anne Hathaway‘s song was ill-conceived, James Franco as Marilyn Monroe was a sad attempt at… Read More »

UPDATE March 8, 2011: It’s official: black IS back! Don’t believe me? Check out the dark mood at Chanel. We all know that Karl Lagerfeld rules the fashion roost worldwide. So, if Karl says “Black uber alles” then so it is. And, from the looks of his somewhat over stuffed collection, black is here and hopefully to stay. When I say overstuffed, I mean the quilted, unflattering jumpsuits that will never live on the streets, but just in the magazines. For now, I am reveling in Black Power! March 7, 2011: For the past few seasons, fashion editors have been… Read More »

Charlie Sheen is the Grossest Baboon Of The Year…this or any other. UPDATE TO MY UPDATE: Have you seen any of the interviews with Charlie Sheen? His arrogance knows no bounds. He occasionally says funny things, but the joke ultimately is on us, because he gets to stay him, and we get to watch. However this drama ends regarding the CBS Show Two and a Half Men, he will go on to make more millions and prove his arrogance was the right way to be. Besides the cast and crew of TAAHM, who are the biggest losers here, I feel… Read More »

Style.com couldn’t resist competing with Vanity Fair by featuring the soccer hotties. It’s so Sex and the City 2 of them. - STYLE.COM Charlie Sheen is opting for jail as opposed to a 2 year probation. Gotta love a guy who knows that there is no way on Earth he is staying clean and sober for that long. – TMZ Who would want to face off with Steve Wynn and Joe Francis? They look insane. – TMZ I love Diana Agron from Glee. She has been completely underused this season…until last night. – DAILY BEAST Yes, I know, he won… Read More »

Yesterday, I announced my newest nominee for Gross Baboon of the Year with the news of Jesse James and his uber-skank Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (a.k.a. Skanky McGee, in my book). But the competition continues to be fierce for that award. Today, it’s all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods‘ doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts that poor, little victim of poontang, Joslyn endured…then released to the media…really?!? Who can feel sorry for anyone that makes choices with open eyes and hires someone… Read More »

Let us take a moment to observe the human species. You know, the mere mortals that plod along, making hay while the sun shines and other such honorable activities. Now, let’s take two such humans, and see how they spent their Christmas. This might shed some light on the condition we call human, while identifying the the difference between a good guy and a member of the “Lucky Sperm Club”. Our first human is Jasper Schuringa, a little known, rather, completely unknown film director wanna-be from Holland, who happened to be on that potentially doomed Delta flight from Amsterdam to… Read More »