“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Once again, Paris Hilton is in the…and my headlines for being her…a.k.a. annoying. Last week Paris and a chimpanzee hosted a party at the Bowlmoor Lanes. And Doug Reinhardt too. Proving, that if Paris can do it…so can a chimpanzee. Now, the news on the lovely Miss Hilton is that she is coming back to New York to work on a film. Well, it’s a one day shoot, and a cameo at that. Question: If you are playing yourself, is that considered work? I’d like to call it work-ish. The dish is that she handed in a three-page rider demanding… Read More »

All I want to know is whether Tom Ford’s intern had the dress dry-cleaned, or wet cleaned, since Anne Hathaway wore it.… Read More »

So help me if they cast Tom Hanks as General Petraeus, I will scream. Paula Broadwell could be cast by Diane Lane, since she wishes she were her, and Jill Kelley can be played by Kim Kardashian. Well if the illicit sex fits…… Read More »

Can you guess who chose to wear this poofy nonsense?… Read More »

Who watched Fashion Star? OK, don’t admit it. I am kinda embarrassed to say that I tuned in. The format of Fashion Star is a bad combination of Let’s Make A Deal meets Antiques Roadshow meets To Tell The Truth. They should  re-name the show Have I Got A Schmatta For You. First of all, the little vignettes about each “designer’s” life is so uninteresting, it makes the American Idol visits to the finalists high school seem riveting, comparatively speaking. Attention: Television Producers… no one cares about these obscure hopefuls. I did not care about them on that show Scouted… Read More »

Oy vey. What a difference a day makes. There is a book out today called Celebrity Inc. that speaks to the tacky ways people make money off their fifteen minutes of fame. Written by Jo Piazza, writer for the New York Daily News, he is already predicting Kim Kardashian‘s fall from grace and her trajectory spiraling downward similar to that of Paris Hilton‘s demise a.k.a “the slippery slope to becoming the brunt of the joke then more painfully, obscurity”. Sure they still love Paris in Tokyo, which sounds like an oxymoron. But here, Paris can’t… well… can only get arrested.… Read More »

Sometimes reading the morning news reminds me of the Enchanted Forest when Dorothy and the three caballeros are in search of the Land of Oz, only to be threatened by the pending doom of lions and tigers and bears. In that same vain, reading through today’s headlines, the three ladies who otherwise just lunch, Sarah Palin, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are doing to me what those animals did to our heroes from The Wizard of Oz. Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for their use of a singer/model, Melissa Molinaro, who kinda looks like her.… Read More »

Here we go again….yet, another celebrity-turned-stink. This time, Bruce Willis is the man of the hour. Yup, because I know how much you have wanted to smell like Bruce Willis since his Moonlighting days. I personally wanted to smell like him when he was in Death Becomes Her, with Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn. Speaking of which, these gals would NEVER sign on to become a fragrance. Back to Bruce. The Bruce Willis Collection includes an eau de parfum, hair and body wash, deodorant spray and after shave balm. HAIR?!? Have they seen him in the past 20 years? This… Read More »

The news of Sarah Palin‘s seemingly larger breasts almost overtook the BP Oil Spill as the most talked about item of the week. Once again, it shows how deep the American conscience runs. Dead birds…awww…can’t deal. Big, shiny new breasts…let’s discuss and re-Tweet. We must stop trying to act like the leaders of the free world when all we can think about are tits and ass. Our obsession with body parts has tainted our ability to see the forest from the trees. Or the war and the peace, frankly. To my point: Every men’s magazine has actresses in skanky positions,… Read More »

So, lookie here. The new BFF’s of the media whore world are Paris Hilton and Snooki. Yikes. One thing is to do a photo op. The other is planning overnights at the Jersey Shore. Paris…does this mean there’s another porn video in the near future to regain your own status? – GAWKER… Read More »