“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpLX67_iSt4

Not that I am shocked, but as usual, I am right. Gloria Allred has just been hired by Debrahlee “The Bombshell” Lorenzana, which is hilarious at best. Yesterday, Andrea Peyser from the New York Post wrote a really snide piece on The Bombshell, which caused her to get her knickers in a twist and reach out to the big guns herself, Madam Gloria Allred, to help scare up some serious dough for the Money Honey from Citibank. In case you missed it, here’s what I wrote on June 4:

Have you been following this story in the news about Debrahlee Lorenzana, the curvy Citibank employee that claims she was fired for being to hot? How genius is this? I am sure that within minutes we will see Gloria Allred at her side, standing up for truth, justice and fifty-percent of the take in the lawsuit she has filed. She was told “she must refrain from wearing certain items of clothing, in particular, turtleneck tops, pencil skirts, fitted business suits, or other properly tailored clothing,” the suit says. “In blatantly discriminatory fashion, plaintiff was advised that as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly ‘too distracting’ for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear.” Now, if you don’t think this chick is about to take this moment and do what any red-blooded American would do and use it to establish a media career, think again. Read this piece on Illicit Sex as a reminder. Let’s make a bet: Before this thing is over, Playboy will come a calling for Ms. Lorenzana to do a spread…not a cover…or centerfold…unless they discover that she is the reason that Citibank needed some of that TARP money to wine and dine the lovely lady. Look, I am sure she is innocent of being anything but pretty. But let’s leave this chapter open for the unexpected.

Then a few days later I wrote this:

The Citi-Skank, Debrahlee Bombshell Lorenzana, who was fired for overt chi-chi wielding, is on the move to becoming a spokes-model-person for sexually harassed women. Lorenzana — who’s admitted to having had plastic surgery to enhance her now-famous assets — was also at the Sugar Dining Den & Social Club, in Carle Place, LI, Thursday night, meeting with owner Brian Rosenberg to discuss forming Women Against Sexual Harassment (WASH). Debrahlee…which sounds like a Playboy bunny name…has not hired Gloria Allred…YET. My prediction from last week…because I am always right is that Debrahlee will garner a media career and hire Gloria Allred.