“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Here’s a situation that has me riveted…in a guilty pleasure kind of way…kind of like watching…The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. Where you really can’t believe that you got whooped up into wasting two hours of your precious time on earth watching this stupid show, yet, totally hoping that anyone but Vienna wins…and horrified when she did. Hence, you lost all respect for Jake. In that same way, I am wondering what Sandra Bullock and Elin Nordegren will do about their cheating husbands? Will they or won’t they forgive them…or will they just leave? Who hasn’t made their minds up about what these women should do with their lives? Basically, I am a not a proponent of monogamy. I think infidelities will happen, and they should be kept to oneself. What you don’t know won’t hurt you. It is kind of like the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy, just without the judgment of the Tea Party. It’s the Poontang Policy. In light of these public events, where what is happening between the sheets of celebrities takes top billing to the War in Afghanistan, then I am changing my policy and drawing a new line in the sand. New Poontang Policy: When skanks are involved…there’s the door. Today, the The New York Post reports that Sandra is going to split from Jesse James. “I think it’s unlikely that Sandra will take Jesse back,” the friend said. “This is going to be a lot for her to overcome.” Agreed. The Oscar timing coupled with her constant sobbing when acknowledging Jesse from every podium, has just about painted her into a corner. She might forgive him…in time…but as to whether she will make any rounds with him at any public outings anytime soon seems unlikely. She has to keep her spine up and erect  like her Oscar.

As for Elin, well, she and Tiger Woods have kids and surely there is some consideration there. But honestly, the sheer volume of skanks has to wash out any child rearing rationale from Parenting Magazine or the plethora of mommy blogs. Smartly, she was lolly gagging on the family yacht while Tiger was boo-hooing on the Golf Channel…the Golf Channel?…that searing media outlet that was able to actually get their FIRST viewer, as a result of that five minute interview. Talk about the Last Five Minutes of Fame. The Golf Channel or Tiger? We shall see. But Elin. Get out of Dodge.