“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

And the gloves are off. Who will win the ratings battle between The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills versus The Real Housewives of New York City this season? Duh. Beverly Hills of course. I have never been a big fan or watcher of the New York housewives because–well–who cares about these run of the mill ladies who lunch? Or in the case of Bethenny Frankel, liquid lunch. The Beverly Hills broads live an aspirational, opulent lifestyle whereas the New York ladies are a bunch of yentas, living seemingly above their means or worse–Brooklyn. Needless to say the Beverly Hills broads… Read More »

Clearly I am not a Jennifer Aniston fan. Not since last century when Friends was one of my favorite shows and I pined for “The Rachel” hairdo. I still do, but that is because I have no hair so I’ll take anything. No, after observing Jennifer in certain situations (lush) when I lived in Los Angeles, it took the wind of out the sail of loving Jennifer Aniston. Besides, the show was canceled by then and she changed up her hair. When she married Brad Pitt, I wondered if this was a Hollywood gay cover-up because they had the same… Read More »

Last season I reviewed Jersey Shore and somehow this season’s review is eerily similar. Could it be because nothing has really changed besides their location? The Return to the Jersey Shore is actually a better title for season three. Do we even call them seasons? They are more like outings. Perhaps even a series of mini-series. Jersey Shore is like Roots without the class. In Thursday night’s season opener, we met an even tackier version of Snooki, her friend Deena. What can I say besides Jersey Shore is chock-full of cursing chubby people. OK, so The Situation has good abs,… Read More »

The Daily Beast features the Best of Jersey TV today. Sure, Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of New Jersey and Jerseylicious, are fan favorites, but what do these annoying people do to represent the many other Jersey residents that are not Guidos and Guidettes? Let me tell you first hand….NOTHING. Rather than focus on the wonderful people who hail from New Jersey like Meryl Streep, Count Basie and Bruce Springsteen, we are now hyper focused on the Goombas like Snooki, Teresa Guidice and The Situation. A permanent blemish has scarred the Garden State. We can identify the turning point when… Read More »

So ABC-TV casting executives are wracking out their brains as to who they can cast for the next season of Dancing With Has-Beens…I mean…Dancing With The Stars. They are fatootzed as to how to top the Bristol Palin coup d’états. Word is that DWTS was originally after Todd Palin for this past season and that Sarah Palin, in her unyielding control freak way, offered up Bristol Palin as a peace offering with the intention to bring grace back to the out of wedlock teenage mom. Let’s face it, Bristol, left to her own devices would just as quickly cast herself… Read More »

Fortunately, I am not one of the 23 million people tuning in to watch Dancing With The Stars. Never have, never will. As far as I am concerned, it is the place where sad hags go to pasture. It is The Biggest Loser set to music. There’s nothing stars about DWTS. A star to me will always be something greater than who the media touts as being a star. Angelina Jolie is a star. Brandy is not. Robert Downey Jr. is a star, The Situation is not. Another non-star is Bristol Palin. Excuse me, but having a child out of… Read More »

Witches and warlocks have been the focus of this last election cycle. But it really all started with that Witchy Woman, Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol. Come on…don’t you think they have America under their spell? Let’s face it, Christine O’Donnell rounds out the Three Witches from Shakespeare’s Macbeth and you can just see them together in a room, complete with cauldron, plotting. “Double, double, toil and trouble.” Say what you want, but for Bristol Palin to still be on Dancing With The Stars, all clutsy and annoying, there has to be some truth here. When Sarah showed up… Read More »

I am a Democrat. I am also furious. Not that we lost the House. We all should have known that was coming and been psychologically prepared for the landslide. Seeing Barack Obama dumbfounded the next day at the press conference proves that, as he even referred to, “the glass bubble” has kept him at arms length from the American people. After all, every bloviator accuses him of that or being an “aloof Harvard professor”. Say what you want about Obama, but first look at this website that documents all the great things he has done in the last two years.… Read More »

It has been a while since I have mentioned Lindsay Lohan on I Mean…What?!? Frankly, her life resembles the movie Ground Hog Day as opposed to the light, frothy Mean Girls. Lindsay is suffering from The Boy Who Cried Wolf Syndrome, which is getting old…and the only heroine in the story is the cocaine. Rather than be like everyone else and judge her ad nauseum, I chose to stay out of the fray and let her chips fall where they may. And watching the endless turns of event, I would love to get my hands on a set of those… Read More »

Mayor Levi Johnston. Now that has a nice ring…huh? Fresh off the heels of his super-public split from Bristol Palin, baby-daddy Levi Johnston has announced from the Teen Choice Awards Blue Carpet that he will seek a run for the mayor-ship of Wasilla, Alaska. You know, that fair little town in our 49th state where Sarah Palin professed to see as far as Russia. Good old eagle-eye Sarah. It must be quite mountainous there. What is odd is how quickly Levi was able to announce the new reality series, working title: Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office. From… Read More »