“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Twerk. It’s a dance, not an illegal action worth crucifying over. Remember (you oldies) when that dance The Jerk was first introduced to the youth culture or The Twist by Chubby Checker? Ahhh, the 1960’s. Now that was a groovy time. Parents and other fuddy duddies were horrified from the way kids were gyrating on the dance floor. So now we have a new dance, The Twerk or Twerking. It seems like not only fuddy dutties are freaking out about this but idiotic, uptight people of all ages. Miley Cyrus was just ripped a new asshole for Twerking at the… Read More »

Stylophane? I beg your pardon? Is that a word, a term, a website, a gauge, a ridiculous tool to jack off with? The answer is all of the above. Now that Social Media and the many Social Media Climbers who think  they know-it-all have become marketing experts, (are sext-perts next?) starting with the Social Media Expert himself Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook is now touting its useful digital marketing tool Stylophane, which tracks the Facebook friends (for lack of a better term) who are engaged with your brand. Facebook…brand…engaged…I am cringing but must go on. Women’s Wear Daily reported today that Kat… Read More »

Miley Cyrus has a tongue. She has many reasons for which she can stick it out at us for sure.With all the hub-bub about her risque performance at the 2013 VMAs, it’s just funny to see how desperate the media is to brand her as a silly child, even though she is a woman who knows exactly what she is doing. On November 24, 2010 I wrote a piece called Hannah Montana: Rest In Peace in response to a scathing article about Miley in the New York Times Style section, which at that time was the least interesting fashion journal… Read More »

The Manzie Report. You know you want it, especially because it has been way too long since the last one. Just because I am no longer diligently blogging and pontificating on all things ridiculous does not mean I am dead. On the contrary, I have been lollygagging in Los Angeles writing a book and need to use all those creative juices for the massive undertaking of writing a novel. Until I can crank out The Great American Novel that is titled  Last Five Minutes of Fame, here is a little somethin’ somethin’ to chew on. So, without any further ado,… Read More »

Two years ago, the tuxedo started going through a metamorphosis. Solid black was sooo over whereas florals and vibrant colors were becoming the new black in men’s evening wear. Guess who they were inspired by? Moi! For Spring 2014, Tom Ford continues serving up untraditional, elegant formal attire such as this lovely floral printed tux (above). Below is my blog post from August 19, 2011 that references this chic, new look that also, when you scroll down will see that I started this whole trend eons ago…at my Bar Mitzvah. This is simply unfair. Two of the world’s most acclaimed… Read More »

Sure, people will accuse John Galliano of copping out for laying the blame on being in a black out, but those who do are simply not black out drunks. There is a gigantic difference between being fucked up and being in a black out versus being a black out drunk. … Read More »

LINDSAY: Don’t you dare talk shit about my mother.
BROOKE: Your mother is shit.… Read More »

Just when John Galliano thought it was safe to go back in the (fashion) water, rather get out from drowning under water, comes The Galliano Conundrum-Par Deux. The Galliano Conundrum started that fateful day two years ago when John was drowning his sorrows in a pub in Le Marais when his barrage of hateful anti-Semitic comments came spewing out of his mouth like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Galliano looking and sounding like a tragic mess was caught on camera saying shit like “I Love Hitler”, a seminal moment that changed his life on a dime, like a crippling car… Read More »

From the Abe & Miriam Webster Dictionary of Abeisms: Lohan (Low–as in life– Han) to reduce (an object or career) to useless fragments, or remains, burning, or dissolving (bridges). injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin; annihilate (credibility). to put an end to or extinguish (career). to kill or slay (career). to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize; invalidate (your everything). to defeat completely (any and all hopes of a comeback). Lindsay Lohan is no longer a just person, or an actress, lohan is now officially a verb. Replace lohan with the word destroy and you will see what I… Read More »

Dear Boston, Words cannot adequately describe how sad and sorry I am for your tremendous loss of life, loss of limbs, loss of innocence, and loss of freedom. What happened at the Boston Marathon finish line is unconscionable and shows us how cowardly these perpetrators are by not claiming responsibility. On the heels of Sandy Hook tragedy and the many senseless acts of violence that are happening daily throughout our “United States”, we are–or at least I am–beginning to feel helpless and really pissed. Serial gross baboons are making us feel so vulnerable and acts of kindness seem to be… Read More »