“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Yesterday, I announced my newest nominee for Gross Baboon of the Year with the news of Jesse James and his uber-skank Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (a.k.a. Skanky McGee, in my book). But the competition continues to be fierce for that award. Today, it’s all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods‘ doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts that poor, little victim of poontang, Joslyn endured…then released to the media…really?!? Who can feel sorry for anyone that makes choices with open eyes and hires someone… Read More »

Just got back from Miami after an amazingly restful few days of R & R at the Fontainebleau Hotel. You would not believe the digs we stayed in. We were VIP Serviced to the tits into this beyond beyond penthouse. Not just some lame-ass penthouse suite. I am talking 4,000 square feet of stunning, with 20 foot ceilings, where Lady Gaga stayed when she was down there performing at LIV Nightclub for New Year’s Eve. Check out the view from the massive palais. Then check out this other view…yes…our humble abode stretched the length of the entire Tresor building. Move… Read More »

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Hi kiddies…mark your calendars. If you like shopping and dining and kaffeeklatsching, we can meet and do all of the above at the Standard Hotel in the Meatpacking District on Saturday, March 27. Details to follow…click the image to download the map of events.… Read More »

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Call me Frito-Lays. Call my sister Hershey’s. Call yourself Dell. Get the drift? In this age of globalization, internet marketing, reality television, and corporate takeovers we are all becoming a brand…one by one. No longer are we allowed to just flourish, we must apply the rules of corporate market-speak to every aspect of our lives. It’s tragic, really, because now you don’t know what is real and what is pre-fabricated to seem real. Don’t get me wrong, if I Mean…What?!? has to apply these rules of engagement in order to move forward towards monetization (did I just use that…HELP!) then,… Read More »

Each season, Karl Lagerfeld does an amazing collection for Chanel that editors wait for with baited breath as the grand finale of Paris Fashion Week. Once again, he delivered the goods and the spectacle. For the last few seasons, he’s been throwing some men’s looks into the show as eye candy. Speaking of eye candy, seems like Karl is obsessed with model, Baptiste Giabiconi. Yes, he is a tasty morsel of sugary goodness, but this Fall ’10 collection has him dressed in all sorts of furry nonsense, and I am not loving his tragically fashionista hairdo. I remember the Eskimo… Read More »

Phew. Award season is over. Whether you are pleased with the results of the Oscar winners (I am), or the Oscar telecast (I’m not), or the Red Carpet gowns (I’m OK overall) or the constant coverage (I’m exhausted), you have to be somewhat relieved that the barrage of celebrity overload is over…for now. Look, I, too, love celebrity culture, but you have to admit, with the rise in urgency of every award show (including the Razzies), we are now chock-full of Gabourey Sidibe (someone tell her to stop screaming), Jason Reitman (your daddy directed Kindergarten Cop, stop thanking him) and… Read More »

Oy, poor Lindsay Lohan. I was pleased that they were giving her a second chance at Emanuel Ungaro. That was reported a while back anyway. I just read in Women’s Wear Daily that Lindsay was nowhere to be found this morning at the fashion show. The dish I got from my sources was that Mounir Moufarrige, a known sycophant, wanted to be near Lindsay, and soak up some of that paparazzi glow, so he signed her as the Creative Director at Ungaro last year. Apparently, people who were intimately involved in some of those meetings and dinners were breching (vomiting… Read More »

I want to be Mary Alice Stephenson when I come back to Earth in my next life. Tall, blond, female, smart, beautiful, industrious, glamorous…need I say more? Either I want to be just like her or a French poodle in a Jewish household on Long Island. Both lives are charmed. I met Mary Alice at a fund-raising event…you see…she is perfect…and we have since kept in touch. Recently, we both were speaking on a panel about the future of the fashion industry. There she was, clad in red Calvin Klein fierceness. I mentioned interviewing her for IMW-TV, though at that… Read More »