“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

So now we should be envisioning the topless photo of some codger or the sneaking around between jogging and taking the next hill in Kabul? How do these people do all this catting around while doing important shit? How does one run the greatest military might or better yet, the sneakiest organization on Earth, then proceed to get caught with your pants down…LITERALLY!… Read More »

After seeing how enthusiastic and motivated consumers are that come out in droves to suck down all the free booze and “shop”–using the term loosely here–there is so much more to do altruistically speaking. All this good-will can be harnessed and the giving aspect of this event can be multiplied exponentially. … Read More »

In today’s episode, KIM, KHLOE & KOURTNEY are hanging around the Kardashian Kalabasas Kompound Kitchen doing nothing, contrary to popular belief that what they really do is nothing.… Read More »

Dear Bristol, Surely death threats are not an effective means to change minds. I am sorry for those people who recently resorted to using those tactics based on your desperate need to be in the media. Had you not blabbered on about Barack Obama’s position of gay marriage, perhaps you would not be in this situation. Naturally, when you say, “hate doesn’t win any arguments” that is true. But the fact that you were compelled to stick your neck out and make a point on such a hot button issue, then you must accept your responsibility in this situation. You… Read More »

Two snaps up to Katy Perry for landing uber-hottie, Baptiste Giabiconi during Paris Fashion Week. Now that is a solid ‘fuck you’ to her ex-nudnik, Russell Brand, a pairing was nauseating from the star. Eswpecially with their two-thousand-day wedding in India minutes after they met. That was kind of a PR scam coupling along the lines of the Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. Maybe I am being too harsh on Katy. Not to be out-shined, Russell Brand also snagged a model toot suite. Some Canadian slag that ran to chat with Life & Style magazine. “He’s amazing, so funny; he’s… Read More »

Poor Demi. She was just rushed off to the hospital for doing too much blow, reminiscent of her character on St. Elmo’s Fire. Last November I wrote a piece on Cougar Fatigue. Maybe this recent blow situation is a residual effect of that phenomenon and rather than really having done actual blow, she realizes that, “My life blows.” Poor Heather Locklear who was also rushed to the hospital for a drug related overdose. So what exactly is in the warm smoggy air? Clearly the wind blows. Ashton Kutcher and Jack Wagner may need to start their 12 Step Program: Celebrity… Read More »

I have little to say about the Paula Dean Blubbergate situation. After all, who doesn’t love a deep-fried butter and bacon sandwich and a with a tiramisu-milkshake-made-with-3-scoops-of-fried-ice-cream chaser? What is annoying is her phony admonition on The Today Show when she said to Al “Friend of the Fried” Roker, “I’ve always encouraged moderation. People see me cooking all these wonderful, Southern, fattening recipes … it’s for entertainment. People have to be responsible.” Really Paula? You said that on your show? Or are you just a big, fat liar? The word moderation has not left your lips since you were told… Read More »

OK, so you wake up at the crack of dawn to this site and tell me you want to write some pithy little commentary about a Republican or a Kardashian or anything that has nothing to do with waking up in a jungly beachfront situation. I’ll be in Tulum for the next 8 days with kind of internet access and the inability to text. Wishing all of you equal parts fabulousness in every moment of your lives. So until the Iowa primary…see ya in drips and drabs.… Read More »

As the continuing saga of Kris & Kim continues to veer off the course of respectability, the dishy new headline is, Kim Claims That Kris Is Gay in Star magazine, that bastion of truth. The name for this episode is As The Stomach Turns, Episode 4, Say What, Miss Thing?… Read More »

UPDATE TO THAT UPDATE: Merv Griffin Productions has commit to Courtney Stodden to produce her reality show, Skank and Grampa (working title). The realness is getting realer than real, but really? Who is going to watch this nonsense? They have not locked in a network yet. Have they tried the Playboy Channel? Other classic television shows on Playboy TV are Brooklyn Kinda Love and The Stash. UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Guess who is getting a reality show? Umm….give up? You got that right. The May-September romance of these two self-involved looney tunes will birth a new reality series following these… Read More »