“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

No one really celebrates Labor Day. Sure, we take off that Monday, but since Labor Day represents the end of summer and the return to school, who is celebrating? Mourning is more like it. Since kindergarten, the “End of Summer Stomach Ache” began on the Sunday afternoon before Labor Day. Though I am generations away from school age, this year I am sick to my stomach a few hours earlier than usual. Between the economic news and the political climate, I am nauseous from what I see and hear. According to Wikipedia: Labor Day became a federal holiday in 1894,… Read More »

  Politicians are like an “IT” bag, and each season, there is a new “must-have”. This Presidential season is going to be the Chanel of wind bags. You find me one candidate for President of the United States, present company and President included, that is not prone to hypocrisy, and I will pay you money. Seriously, this is a one time offer, as I am not a betting man. No one on Earth can present the case for a candidate who does not talk out of both sides of their mouth and other orifices, in order to please the masses.… Read More »

Last week, I saw The Help at a packed screening in New York. The excitement around the release of this film has been palpable. Whenever a hugely popular book is made into a film, we all know what’s coming next, but that does not stop our hopes that this time the studio won’t fuck it up. Every twenty years or so a big budget studio film about poor black folks hits the big screen and there is incredible white support for these stories. It is a far different situation than the Tyler Perry genre. The African-American film going community supports… Read More »

If anyone needs to hire ID-PR, Slate or 42 West, it is Michele Bachmann. Say what you want about those pushy celebrity publicists, but you will NEVER see a cover shot of Jake Gyllenhaal looking like he is tweaking, or Jennifer Aniston looking like she is plugged into a socket. Granted, celebrity publicists have gotten a “not great” reputation as being bitchy and annoying, but they do their job, and usually very well. There are plenty of not-interesting talent that celebrity publicists get tons of coverage on. I won’t get into it now (January Jones) so I can stay on… Read More »

Throughout all this talk of the debt ceiling, the Republicans are now officially beginning to look like cartoon characters. The release of The Smurfs movie frames this debate in a very insightful way. Will these weirdly colored creatures survive their situations? Oh, I am talking about the orange folks in the Republican party, lead by John Boehner. He and Donald Trump are like the Tom & Jerry of orange blabbermouths. Nothing would be more genius than if John Boehner started crying over this process, caught on tape. The tension must be so thick in his chamber, that you can cut… Read More »

The Jersey Shore kids are gross. Not Gross Baboons necessarily, just gross. They are so wrong in so many ways. Have you been to Florence? It is by far one of the most beautiful cities in the world. They needed to have a pack of steroid-ed gumbas trouncing around the Ponte Vecchio like I am going to the moon. Reports from Italy have the locals cringing from horror that this somehow represents Italians in the United States. And then everyone wonders why Europeans turn down their noses down at Americans. The worst part is now that the Jersey Snore kids… Read More »

You know, between Arnold Schwarzenegger and this French slob, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, I am not sure who deserves the Gross Baboon of the Year Award. Maybe it is a tie. Although this banking douche-bag deserves all the scrutiny and negative publicity he is getting (hey, I love Carla Bruni),  the award goes to Arnold Schwarzenegger. What a gross, wrinkly disgusting, baboon. First of all, I really like Maria Shriver, who did more for the women’s movement over the past few years since becoming the Governator (could you hate an expression more?)’s wife. It is upsetting to know that she knew all… Read More »

Fresh off the heels of the most romantic moment in couples history, I am left wondering who we have in the United States that can remotely be called our own royal couple. Enter Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson. Don’t look now but the slow burn of promoting the next and final-ish chapters of the Twilight Saga has begun, kicking off with an exclusive cover story in Entertainment Weekly. The timing seems intentional, can’t you hear them in the EW cover meeting now, “Let’s put Bella and Edward on the cover, America is drunk with romance thanks to the Royal Wedding“.… Read More »

On January 5, 1970, All My Children premiered while I was at home, sick with the flu from grade school. (Yes, that makes me 200 years old, but that is not the point here.) In my groggy state, I heard the All My Children Theme Song which jostled me awake, and there was Erica Kane. Though I was feeling better the next day, I exaggerated my cough and sniffle so I could stay home to catch more of Erica’s shenanigans. I continued with my charade and by the end of the week my mother was getting worried and took me… Read More »

Clearly I am not a Jennifer Aniston fan. Not since last century when Friends was one of my favorite shows and I pined for “The Rachel” hairdo. I still do, but that is because I have no hair so I’ll take anything. No, after observing Jennifer in certain situations (lush) when I lived in Los Angeles, it took the wind of out the sail of loving Jennifer Aniston. Besides, the show was canceled by then and she changed up her hair. When she married Brad Pitt, I wondered if this was a Hollywood gay cover-up because they had the same… Read More »