“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Please note: This Entry First Appeared July 12, 2009 Who’d have thunk that when I MEAN…WHAT?!? coined the phrase Manzie Report, and pointed out the horrendousness of some of the things that everyone’s favorite Manzie is wearing, that lo and behold, Time Magazine, yes, that magazine that puts Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin on the cover, has an entry about Mancessories. So, now that the Manzie has been adulated by the general media, I am thrilled to say my prescient observation of this uncanny trend has now been substantiated and I am officially anointing Time Magazine with… Read More »

Congratulations Michael Kors and his soon be be spouse, Lance LePere. Lord knows I wish all gays happily ever after my hope is that gay marriage statistics kicks straight marriage in the ass. This year, up to 50% of straight marriages will end in divorce. So gays? Listen up. Stay put. Otherwise, this is my feeling of gay marriage now that it is official in New York. Look, if Iowa can get the gay marriage thing together, so, indeed, should every state in the union. And that includes Minnesota, where Michelle and Marcus Bachmann have proven that gay weddings do… Read More »

We knew that Rachel Uchitel would not fade into the woodwork forever after taking the alleged millions of dollars from Tiger Woods in exchange for shutting her uber-collagen enhanced lips about their illicit sexual affair. The good news is, who needed her to tell us anything, my sources told me plenty. In particular, Tiger would demand sex AT LEAST three or four times a day, that she would have to drop what she was doing and run to his side…no questions asked. Clearly, the slogan “Tiger in his tank” has new meaning. Woodsy also preferred a different orifice each time,… Read More »

I just was reading through the list on fashionista.com about what fashion brands will pay to sit front row during New York Fashion Week. What a crock of hooey. Let me start by saying that part of my business is orchestrating front row talent for assorted companies and none of what they are reporting is true. What I think fashionista.com did was call a slew of garden variety talent agents and received generic quotes. One thing you learn about casting a front row is…never call agents. They love throwing out ridiculous nilly-willy high prices. And that does not even get… Read More »

“Celebrity is obscurity waiting to happen,” says Carrie Fisher in her one-woman show Wishful Drinking, now on Broadway. And truer words have ne’er been spoken. She should know. When Andy Warhol said, “In the future everyone would be famous for fifteen minutes,” he was the Nostradamus of his day. Last Five Minutes Of Fame is a new weekly column for I MEAN..WHAT?!? that will highlight the plethora of people that fall into this category. Either their celebrity is waning, has waned, should wane, will wane or something therein. Surely this column will be celebrity publicists’ worst nightmare…but hey…no one tells… Read More »

Well, I thought this would as good a time as any to let y’all get to know a bit about my likes and dislikes. Since clearly, you are fully aware of the latter, today I am going to share some of my favorite things. Today’s category are favorite men and women, dead and alive. It’s a collection of collagenous people, each that have impacted me in a most memorable way. If any of these are on your short list, let me know. Before I give you my short list, I must start by giving props to my sisters Vivian and… Read More »

Somehow I must have been asleep at the wheel or something, but somewhere between Paris and Milan, several designer shows slipped under my radar and have just now surfaced. If the Manzie Report bores you, by all means, leave now and wait till we cover the NY Fashion Shows in September. And if you are that high, then I suggest taking a spiritual aerobics class.… Read More »

I was just reading on the The Daily Beast about how stylists are being cut from budgets and all other sorts of nonsense. The article was an outtake from a bigger story in The New York Observer pointing out that these “celebrity stylists” are being bypassed as the actual celebrities are going directly to designers. There seems to be less and less patience for these spotlight grabbing stylists such as Rachel Zoe, Phillip Bloch and Stacy London. Well, let me pipe in here and say hold on just one minute. Unless you have been a stylist, you can take these… Read More »

The Russians are coming…for Michelle Obama. Yes…really. Now even Russian fashion designers are dishing our First Lady. Like Russians, are known for style, grace and elegance? I don’t think so. Let’s take a look at some of the Russian designer’s schmatehs that were recently featured at Moscow Fashion Week. I am sure you will agree with me, that the Kremlin will continue to be known for vodka, borscht, and trading their girls on the internet and at modeling agencies. I mean…who has time to listen to this Russian nonsense? These designers are best served honing their craft and piping down.… Read More »

So, there you have it. Levi and I have both now gone on record to say that Sarah Palin resigned her post as Governor, due to financial reasons. All these bloviators and regular folks too, I might add, who said with conviction that she will go for the 2012 presidential run are out to lunch. I wasn’t kidding when I quoted Deep Throat, “Follow the money”. And now, it’s official, since Levi Johnston said so. Levi and I…blood brothers…fraternal twins…life partners. Naturally, the Huffington Post did not post my story from last week. No, only Levi’s pearl of wisdom get… Read More »