“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

So ABC-TV casting executives are wracking out their brains as to who they can cast for the next season of Dancing With Has-Beens…I mean…Dancing With The Stars. They are fatootzed as to how to top the Bristol Palin coup d’états. Word is that DWTS was originally after Todd Palin for this past season and that Sarah Palin, in her unyielding control freak way, offered up Bristol Palin as a peace offering with the intention to bring grace back to the out of wedlock teenage mom. Let’s face it, Bristol, left to her own devices would just as quickly cast herself… Read More »

Fortunately, I am not one of the 23 million people tuning in to watch Dancing With The Stars. Never have, never will. As far as I am concerned, it is the place where sad hags go to pasture. It is The Biggest Loser set to music. There’s nothing stars about DWTS. A star to me will always be something greater than who the media touts as being a star. Angelina Jolie is a star. Brandy is not. Robert Downey Jr. is a star, The Situation is not. Another non-star is Bristol Palin. Excuse me, but having a child out of… Read More »

Now that’s a coupling made in heaven. One desperate, unwed, teen mother, Bristol Palin, who uses the media to compete with her skanky ex-baby daddy, Levi Johnston, coupled with The Situation, a Staten Island goombah who is the most talked about character second to Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore. Coupling? Yes…because they will both be on Dancing With The Stars. Well, they won’t be dancing with each other…but trust me…we will see plenty of paparazzi shots of those two leaving the DWTS studio. So, what ever happened to Bristol Palin’s public relations business? Guess she decided to become her own… Read More »

According to Lindsay Lohan’s tweet, Sam Ronson spit in her face at Coachella. R U kidding? Move on girls. Enough. Yikes. – TWITTER The Mario Testino/Kate Moss book will sell out for sure at $472 or whatever price. – HUFFINGTON POST httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2sYfsFv_i0&feature=player_embedded Kate Gosselin (March of the Wooden Soldiers) was finally booted off DWTS. Next up…more reality television. My friend at Warner Brothers said she is impossible. – JUST JARED Oh, no, Heather Locklear was just arrested for a hit and run. I am sooo upset. I love her. And am so sad that Melrose Place is canceled. – TMZ… Read More »

So here you go….the riveting news…the following people will be on Dancing With The Stars. Starting with the most riveting women on Earth. Kate Gosselin. Next up is Buzz Aldrin. Yes, that Buzz Aldrin, the man on the moon circa 1969, and currently a fixture on the Beverly Hills social scene. One of my favorite people, Shannen Doherty is going to grace that stage of DWTS and do them the favor of the century. And here we have the obligatory sports star, Chad Ochocinco. And can you believe Jake Pavelka from The Bachelor is going to be on that show?… Read More »