“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

If you thought Star Jones’ circus of a wedding to Al Whatsisname was annoying, hold on to your uber-sponsored hats. The cross-promotional wedding of the century is about to unfold, so stock up on your Dramamine, ’cause a fierce case of nausea is about to ensue. Unlike the wedding of the century last month between Prince William and Kate Middleton, the pending nuptials between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries will surely reek of C and D list celebrities, lots of flat-ironed hair and enough loose curl extensions to last a lifetime. Needless to say, there will be a run on… Read More »

My assistant Ryan said yesterday that he was thinking about getting a spray tan because the BCBG Max Azria store was doing an in-store promotion and he wanted to try it out. Horrifying as that sounds on every front, I implored him not to do it and hoped that he heeded my words rather than follow his heart when he left the office. The thing about spray tans is that no one looks good with them. Anything obvious is not a good thing. Most bridezillas that have adopted this practice for their wedding day look borderline insane…and orange. Orange and… Read More »